Waning Daylight
by The Raging Blue Flame
Summary: When a railway historian comes to visit Sodor's 4449, Erika is forced to relive her life as California's Coast Daylight and reveal events she'd rather not remember.
1. Old Scars

Author's Note: Welp, I came back sooner than expected, lol… After thinking it over, and with some pushing from others, I decided to expand on Erika's back story. No worries, the rest of the cast makes their appearances as well. And, since there's so much to go through, this'll take a while and the chapters will be a _whole_ lot longer! I did my best to research the time period and be as accurate as possible so feel free to correct me if I'm wrong on anything. If you haven't read Love and War, I suggest you do since conversations between characters sometimes reflect back on events that took place in that story.

* * *

_Chapter 1 – Old Scars_

'_I don't want to talk about it.'_

* * *

"So… I got stuck on the turntable again at Vicarstown." Erika admitted.

"That turntable is horrible!" Gordon exclaimed.

"I know. I don't understand why they won't make it larger for me. I have this huge scrape on my cowcatcher now…"

The two big engines were at Knapford station waiting for Percy to fetch their coaches. The weather was warm, and the snow was finally melting; spring had finally reached the island of Sodor. Although most of the engines were happy to be done with winter, Erika kind of missed it. She enjoyed plowing through the snow and sending it flying into other engines. She only wished it didn't have to be so cold. "What makes it worse," the Daylight engine continued, "I have another scratch on my tender from when I got stuck on it before. I'd go get repainted, but I don't have time."

With the warming weather, Erika was back to pulling coaches to the beach along the Norramby line. She also pulled a second express along the main line. The extra train did mean she got to see Gordon more often so that was something. It had been almost a year since the two had been together although it didn't feel like it. Whenever they ran into each other it felt like their relationship was still fresh and new, and they still fought like they were just starting out. It was usually over trivial things. With Gordon being older, he would try to advise Erika but she'd let her ego get to her or she'd tell him his methods were outdated. Erika would tell Gordon her methods and he'd say he didn't need her "advice;" he had _experience_. They wouldn't talk to each other for a few days, but they'd always make up, usually. Everyone wondered how it was possible for two big-headed engines to stay together but they somehow managed.

"Well Erika, you don't need to look perfect in order to be useful."

"But I _need_ to look pretty! I'm a passenger engine! The most beautiful engine in the world can't be covered in scrapes and scratches! Look, my paint is even starting to peel!"

Gordon only rolled his eyes in response. Sometimes even he wondered how they lasted this long, but Erika was just so cute when she whined. While Erika ranted, James had stopped next to them. "Well, if it isn't the two love birds. I'm amazed you two don't have your faces glued to each other, or arguing." He said sarcastically, "The world must be ending."

"Hi, James," Erika said flatly.

"Have either of you seen Percy? I need to head to Suddery."

Erika raised an eyebrow, "Suddery, where's that?"

"It's on Edward's branch line."

"I've never been there before."

The red engine sighed, "Because you're too fat. You big engines would ruin the rails. Now, unlike you, I can go anywhere I want without having to worry about breaking rails, collapsing bridges, or getting stuck on _turntables._ I'm the perfect size for a tender engine."

"No, but at least we big engines don't need boot laces in order to pull coaches!" Gordon chimed in. James glared at him, how dare he bring that up?

Erika laughed, "Or slip on leaves on a hill."

"Or spin around on a turntable when the wind blows."

"You may be more mobile than Gordon and I, but we are faster and far stronger than you. I could pull trains longer than the eye can see. Hell, I could probably pull _two_ express trains!"

"And break bridges as you do so," James added. Before Gordon or Erika could respond, the trio saw Percy.

He rushed past them, "I'm sorry I'm so late! I was on my way back when Sir Topham Hatt wanted to talk to me." As quickly as he could, the green tank engine began to gather the three engine's trains. "A railway historian is on their way. Sir Topham Hatt wants Erika to pick them up at the airport. Gordon, I'll have your express ready soon and James, your freight cars are ready."

Erika grinned, _'A special for me, huh?'_ she thought. Then her eyes widened, she couldn't let the historian see her with scratches and peeling paint! Now she _had_ to go to the Steamworks, but she might be late if she did that, decisions, decisions.

"Now Erika, you need to hurry. The visitor's plane should be here soon." Percy instructed as he positioned the coaches so Erika could be coupled to them.

"Right, got it," Erika was excited; she didn't get special jobs too often but when she did, she always strived for perfection.

She was about to leave when she heard Gordon's voice. She already knew what was coming, "Do you remember the route, Erika?" he asked.

She tried to control her temper, "Yes, Gordon." She said through her teeth.

"Do you have enough water in your boiler?"

"_Yes_, Gordon."

"You should take that shortcut I showed you, you'll get there faster."

"Ok, Gordon."

"Remember what I told you, you're not pulling freight, Erika. You must be careful with coaches."

'_Don't get mad, don't get mad,'_ Erika did her best not to go off. He was only trying to help, by telling her stuff she already knew. "Yes, Gordon, _dear_… I know how to pull coaches. I'm a _passenger engine_ after all." She didn't know how much more of this she could take. Sometimes it felt like Gordon was her father, always telling her how she should do things. It was starting to take a toll on her patience, and her sanity. Erika waited to see if he would say anything else.

"Very well then," Gordon said calmly.

Before he could even think to say anything else, Erika chuffed out of the station and headed towards the airport.

"Don't break any bridges!" James called after her. Erika ignored James' comment; she had better things to think about.

As she headed towards the airport, Erika thought about the visitor. Although it was probably none of her business, she wondered why a historian was here and what they were like. Maybe they came to see her! Since she arrived, she had gotten many visitors, well more than she would have expected which was none. Her thoughts then drifted towards Gordon. Erika frowned, "Bossy Buffers, always telling me what to do." She said to herself, "Erika, you're doing this wrong. Erika, you need to be careful. Do you have enough water, Erika? _Do you know the way, Erika?_ _Should I go with you, __**Erika**__?_** Don't biff the coaches so hard, **_**Erika**_**! You should take my advice, Erika! I have **_**experience!**_" She paused for a moment, "Hey, I can do a pretty good Gordon impression!" Truth be told, she still loved him but his "advice" was getting annoying, _really_ annoying. Sometimes it had gotten to the point where she went off on him and ended up regretting it later. What happened to the days when they were just happy being together? Erika noticed she was approaching the airport, "Cheer up, Erika. We have to be at our best today!" She somehow managed to get herself to smile as she pulled into the station.

She looked for the guest she was supposed to be picking up but she realized she didn't even know what the person looked like. Were they male or female, short or tall, fat or thin? She had no idea. All she could do was wait and hope the person would recognize her.

"Ah, a Southern Pacific Daylight, you must be the one that will be taking me to Knapford." A voice said. Erika looked around and saw an older woman in a blue pants suit approached her. She was about average in height, had tan skin and her graying hair was in a bun.

Erika smiled, "Yes, that's me! My name is Erika."

The woman smiled back, "Well, Erika, it's good to meet you. I never thought I'd see an engine like you up and running. Most steam engines are either on display or, very rarely, do excursions. You're very lucky to be on Sodor."

"Yes, ma'am, they take very good care of us here."

"I can see that." The woman's eyes widened, "Oh where are my manners? My name is Mary-Ann."

That name jogged Erika's memory a bit, she had once met someone by that name, but she couldn't quite pin-point who it belonged to. Mary-Ann continued, "My, I must say I've never seen engine with eye color before. You have the most beautiful blue eyes."

Erika's smile grew wider, "Thank you, ma'am! My sisters and I all had eye color. I was the only one with blue eyes, however."

"Well, if it wasn't for your metal body, I would have thought you were human! But, we can discuss this further later, dear." Erika waited for the historian to board before heading back towards Knapford. She was still thinking about where she had heard that name before.

When she returned, Sir Topham Hatt was on one of the middle platforms, he was talking to Gordon. Erika sighed; her break from him had to end at some point. Erika refrained from making eye contact with the blue engine as she approached the platform on the opposite side. Both Gordon and the Fat Controller found it a bit odd. Normally, Erika would have stopped _in front_ of Gordon, whether or not her passengers were able to get off. The Fat Controller shrugged it off; he'd rather not see another make-out session between the two and it was good that she was doing things correctly.

"Mary-Ann, it is good to see you again!" The Fat Controller exclaimed as the historian exited the train and approached him.

"It is good to be back," she looked at the big blue engine. "And it's good to see you again, Gordon. Last time I saw you had smashed through a station!"

"Yes well, that hasn't happened again… thankfully." Gordon replied, trying not to blush.

Erika rolled her eyes, awesome, she knew Gordon. "No, but he has derailed and fallen through bridges…" Erika said to herself and let a few giggles escape. Luckily, the others didn''t seemed to notice.

"I see you've added more engines since then," Mary-Ann continued, "I was telling Erika how lucky she was to be here. Everywhere else has diesels or electric engines; they don't make them like her anymore and especially not with her streamline design."

"Yes, she is a very useful engine and works very hard." The Fat Controller added, "She runs along the Norramby branch and, when their faces aren't glued together, pulls express trains with Gordon."

"Glued together?"

The two engines looked away and the Fat Controller laughed, "I'll explain later. Anyway, let's head into my office so we can talk."

As the two left, Erika and Gordon remained silent. Erika diverted her attention to random spots in the station, then at the location where the Fat Controller and Mary-Ann once were, then at Gordon. Their eyes met, "Um… hi?" Erika said and smiled nervously.

"Are you ok?" Gordon asked. He had a concerned look on his face.

"Why do you ask?"

He avoided her question, "Can I talk to you?"

Erika was becoming concerned herself, this wasn't normal Gordon behavior. Well, not recent Gordon behavior. What happened to Gordon the Lecturer? Maybe he had fallen off the viaduct and had perished, Erika could only hope. "Sure, Gordon," she answered calmly.

She followed him to the shunting yard at Tidmouth. The yard was quiet and dark. Most of the engines had already left which allowed them to have some privacy. Erika still didn't know why they were there and she was becoming annoyed, "So, are you gonna talk to me or are we just gonna - -" Before she could continue, Gordon kissed her. Erika was surprised, but she had no reason to complain. It was a nice change from being nagged and lectured to death. She loved kissing him, how his lips felt against her own; there was no greater feeling. She closed her eyes and returned his affection, maybe Gordon the Lecturer _did_ die and the Gordon she loved was back.

"I love you, Erika." He whispered to her. Erika was unsure how to respond, this was all so sudden. She didn't mind though, she enjoyed his low voice, especially when he brought it down to a whisper. Gordon continued, "I'm sorry if I've been a bit… overbearing. I just want you to do well and be safe."

Erika smiled arrogantly, "I've been pulling trains for almost as long as you have. I've been here for almost a year. No need to worry about me. You may be older than me, and have _experience_, but that doesn't mean I have no idea what I'm doing. I don't need an advisor; I need you to be my… my boyfriend." She hated that word, it didn't seem to fit. Gordon wasn't a boy and Erika wasn't a girl. She didn't get why adult humans used it. Gordon found it somewhat amusing but felt the same way, the word didn't fit either of them but there was no other term for it. It seemed like words Thomas and Rosie would use, but not them. "I love you too, Gordon." Erika added, "My Grand Gordon." She kissed him softly and Gordon gladly returned it. The yard was silent again.

Erika ended up staying at the sheds in Tidmouth that night, no point in going all the way to Vicarstown. She woke up the next morning feeling great. She had a great evening with Gordon, he even apologized, and she got to spend time with her friends. The Fat Controller arrived at the sheds with the historian, they walked towards her. "Erika, Mary-Ann would like to talk to you." He said.

"I'm working on a book about American steam engines. Sir Topham Hatt told me a bit about your history and I was very intrigued." Mary-Ann stated, "You were built around the time the age of steam was beginning to end and, if you don't mind, I'd like to talk to you about your experience in the US."

Erika's eyes widened and her joyful composure faded, the past was something she'd rather not talk about. She had spent so much time trying to move on from it and now it was trying to catch up to her. She had to think of a way to get out of it, "Um, I would but… Oh, look at the time; I'm going to be late! I have to go deliver fuel to Mavis at the quarry!" she lied.

The Fat Controller was confused, "But Erika, I haven't even - -" Erika chuffed off towards wherever she was going before he could finish. She decided to head to Vicarstown and back to her shed. As she zoomed down the main line, she passed by other engines but paid them no mind. She ignored their friendly whistles. She had to get back to her shed and hide.

The Daylight eventually made it back to Vicarstown and quickly back into her shed and decided to spend the rest of the day there. She could only hope no one would bother her. The past was a subject she never wanted to bring up. Although, she sometimes talked about her time in California, she kept it as vague as possible. No one had questioned her or pushed the issue further and she wanted to keep it that way. There only two people who knew, her driver and the Fat Controller. Gordon and Emily didn't even know; two engines she had become close with since she had arrived to Sodor last summer. Erika had considered telling Gordon but she had always stopped herself, it was too painful to bring up. He'd find out someday, she just wasn't sure when. Erika heard the sounds of an engine approaching the shed, it sounded like Emily.

She whistled cheerfully, "Erika, are you in there? Sir Topham Hatt sent me to come get you." Erika didn't respond nor come out of her shed. Emily's cheerful expression turned to worry, "Erika, what's wrong? It's not like you to just run off like that." She waited for response but got only silence. "Please tell me what's wrong. You can tell me _anything_, you know? Erika, c'mon, it can't be that bad, can it? Did Gordon upset you?" Erika said nothing, Emily continued, "I guess not…" The green engine sighed; she was basically talking to herself. She didn't know what to say or do. She couldn't just pull Erika out of the shed. "Well, if you want to talk, you know where to find me. If you do, I won't tell the controller. We can just keep it between us girls." Emily left the sheds in defeat, she couldn't get Erika to come out, but she knew an engine that maybe could.

At some point, Erika had fallen asleep. When she woke up, she noticed the shed doors were now closed. She figured her driver must have closed them and she was perfectly OK with that. She could see the sun setting from the windows, was she asleep for that long?

"Erika, are you in there?" a low voice asked, it sounded like Gordon. When did he get here and how long was he there? "Emily told me what happened at Tidmouth, what's going on with you?" Erika decided to give him the same silent treatment she had given Emily. As much as she hated to, she didn't want to talk to anyone, not even Gordon. "Erika, what's wrong? Tell me!" She could hear the desperation in his voice, but she couldn't tell him so she kept quiet. But she knew he wasn't going to leave her anytime soon. It was hard for Gordon to admit defeat and she usually caved before he came even close.

"**Erika!**"

"I'm here, Gordon, I'm here…" Erika responded finally.

"Erika, what's going on, what's wrong?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Why?"

"I said I _don't_ want to talk about it, Gordon." Being silent wouldn't make Gordon leave, but maybe anger would. It was a horrible plan but it was the only choice she had.

"Erika, don't do this. You shouldn't keep things to yourself."

"Leave me alone, Gordon."

"You should be able to tell me _anything_, I won't judge you. Don't you trust me?"

"I… I trust you… I - - Please, just leave me alone."

Gordon looked at the shed doors sadly, she wasn't going to come out and she wasn't going to talk. He couldn't understand what would bring her to do this, weren't they supposed to talk about their problems and work them out together? He decided to try one more time, he couldn't let her win. "Erika, whatever is bothering you, is it so bad that you can't tell me? I'm not going to judge you, I wouldn't do that. We should be able to work out or problems together. Erika, please tell me what's bothering you."

Erika thought about it for a moment, she was about to speak but stayed silent. She just couldn't bring herself to do it. "Gordon, I… I'm sorry, I can't. Please, just go away, leave me alone."

"Fine then, I'll leave you alone." Gordon said. Not even he could bring her to talk. He hated to do it but he decided it was better to abide by Erika's wishes. As Gordon departed from the sheds, he could faintly hear Erika crying from inside.

Erika was greeted the next morning by the sounds of shed doors opening and the sun in her face. She squinted until her eyes adjusted to the change in lighting. After her eyes adjusted, she could see a tall, young dark-skinned woman in a blue uniform approach her, it was her driver Samantha. Her driver cringed when she Erika's face, "Good Lord girl, what happened to you? You look awful, did you not sleep?"

Erika managed to chuckle. "No, not really, Sam." She replied.

"I closed the shed doors for you yesterday. I had to lie to the controller and tell him you weren't feeling well. You can thank me by getting to work. We're already late."

"I'm not going out."

It was going to be one of _those_ days; the days in which Erika's driver played therapist. Samantha took a seat on Erika's buffer. "Ok girl, tell me what happened after I left." Erika didn't answer; it was time to play the guessing part of the game, something the two did often. Her driver sighed, "Did James call you fat again?"

"No," Erika answered.

"Get in a fight with Emily?"

"No."

"Were Thomas and Percy pulling pranks on you?"

"No."

"… Did you break Henry again?"

"No."

Samantha paused and thought about it for a moment, and then she realized what was wrong. It was so obvious, "You and Gordon arguing again?"

"No, well… not really."

"What did he say?"

"He didn't say anything wrong."

"What did _you_ say?"

"…"

Bingo, as frustrating as it was, Samantha always figured out what was wrong with Erika. They hadn't known each other long, but had quickly come to trust each other. Although she found it a bit odd to be giving an engine love advice. "OK Erika, what happened?"

"Well, the historian wants to talk to me… about my past…"

"Oh yeah… right." Her driver bit her lower lip; she knew about Erika's past and what happened. "Have you told Gordon or Emily about it yet?"

"No, I can't - - I just can't. It's too painful."

"Erika, now you _know_ you should at least tell Gordon. You two have been together for what, almost a year now? Don't you think he has a right to know?"

"He came to see me yesterday, after you left… Emily told him what happened. I was going to but… but I just can't." Erika felt tears forming and she did her best to hold them off, "He was so concerned… And I made him leave. I told him to leave me alone…"

"Erika," Samantha paused, Erika was going to hate her for saying what she was about to say, "You have to tell Gordon. You can't just keep it to yourself anymore. You should probably tell Emily too but you should at least tell him. He _loves_ you Erika, and I don't think he wants to see you so upset, especially when he doesn't even know why." Erika sighed, her driver was right. She knew this day would come, even though she wished it would have stayed at bay a little longer.

Unfortunately, Erika didn't come out of her shed until long after dark. She knew she'd be in trouble for it later but she had to mentally prepare herself. She had told her driver that she wanted to talk to Gordon at night, long after everything had closed. This meant she'd be without a fireman but Erika knew Samantha would do fine… hopefully.

Erika quickly made her way to Tidmouth, the railways were quiet and the moon had risen, it was like the night when Erika told Gordon she was in love with him. The thought brought a smile to her face; his blue livery looked beautiful that night. She saw the sheds in the distance; they were still lit, meaning the others were still awake as well. "Dammit," she swore. She could only hope they were on by accident and everyone was asleep.

Erika looked around as she approached the sheds as quietly as she could. The lights were still on, but it looked like everyone was sleeping. "Erika, you know he can't go anywhere without a driver." Samantha said, "And if everyone's sleeping…"

Erika hadn't thought about that, "Dammit!"

Her driver giggled, "Don't worry, girl. If he's willing to talk to you, I'll get him out of the shed and you can pull him to… wherever we're going. I'm no fireman but I think I can shovel coal." Technically, Erika shouldn't be running without _her_ fireman either, but then again, neither of them should be up this late sneaking around. Samantha got out of Erika's cab and approached the sheds; she hoped Gordon's controls weren't too different from Erika's.

She approached the big, blue engine, he was fast asleep. Samantha knocked on his buffer, "Hey, big boy, wake up." No response, she frowned at him. She was not going down without a fight. "If I can get Erika up, I can get _you_ up." She climbed onto him and made her way towards the front of his boiler and banged on it as hard as she could. "Wake _up_, Gordon!" Her loud voice startled the big engine awake. He blinked and then squinted his eyes, trying to get use to the light change. "Well, good morning, sunshine!" Samantha said cheerfully, Gordon recognized that voice.

"Sam?" he asked sleepily.

"Glad to know you remember me, now let's get you going. I hope you have coal left in you tender."

Gordon yawned. He was tired, confused, and not quite sure what was going on or where he was, "Going, going where?" Erika's driver responded by pointing ahead of them. Gordon looked in the distance and saw Erika; she was smiling stupidly at him. Gordon was unamused and wanted to go back to sleep, "And?"

"Man, you're really grumpy. You're lady friend has something to tell you! Now, let's get your firebox going." Gordon watched as Samantha climbed off him and headed towards his cab. When she was out of his range of vision, he looked at Erika. She was still smiling. Whatever she had to say had better be worth him losing valuable sleep over.

Samantha stared in confusion once she saw Gordon's backhead. It wasn't similar to Erika's at all; it was so… simple and organized. She had spent so much time with the American steam engine that she had forgotten how the European ones worked. "Okay… let's see if I can remember how to do this…"

Gordon listened as she messed with his controls. He became alarmed when he heard a loud _clank_ and Samantha drop a few F-bombs, "What are you _doing_?!"

"Got it! I knew I'd remember," after tinkering with valves a bit more, Samantha managed to get Gordon started. She got him out of the shed, on the turntable, and on Erika's track. "Ok big boy, you stay there while I couple you two. You can stare into each other's eyes or something…" her driver said and she got out of Gordon's cab. Erika somehow managed to retain her smile despite only getting a tired, expressionless stare from Gordon. Every now and then he would yawn but that was pretty much it. When she was coupled to Gordon, Erika exited the sheds. She didn't want to go _too_ far and she didn't know how much fuel Gordon had so, she decided to play it safe and head for Knapford station.

When they arrived, the station was dead silent and empty, and Erika was glad. As the two came to a stop, Samantha went to go put Gordon's brakes on, just in case. "Ok, you two have fun. I'll see you in the morning."

"Wait, where are you going?" Erika asked. She hadn't expected to be just left in an empty station.

"I did my job, now you do yours. I'll get up early to take you two back to the sheds, ok? Good night, love birds!" Erika's driver headed for the station's exit, leaving her coupled to sleep deprived Gordon. She looked at him; he was barely awake at this point.

"Um, Gordon?" Erika asked. He answered her with a slow blink and a distant stare. Maybe this was a bad idea. He was barely responding to her, maybe he was upset? She had to be sure. She kissed him; he kissed her back. Nope, he was definitely awake; and he didn't seem mad. "Gordon, I - - I'm sorry about yesterday… for making you and Emily worry. I know I shouldn't keep things from you, but I've kept it from everyone. I planned on telling you one day… I guess today's the day."

She paused; she wished he'd say something, even if it was just a grunt. It would be better than nothing. This _was_ like when she told him she was in love with him. "Gordon, do you remember when I told you how I felt? It was a night like this. It was warm, the moon was out, and your blue livery looked so beautiful. I was so nervous. Emily told me everything would be ok, but I was still worried. When you told me you felt the same way, I was so happy but, I was still thrown off by your response. It had been so long since I was in love and had someone love me in return. I had spent so much time alone, all those years stuck in an old shed. I had forgotten what love felt like. But then you kissed me and all those lost feelings and emotions came back… I felt alive again. We were out there all night, but it was ok because I spent that entire night with you. I love you, Gordon, so much. I never thought I could feel this way again... Especially not after - -" She stopped. She couldn't bring that part up yet. It was better to save that for when she told her story. "I told myself I'd never let anyone get so close ever again, but you somehow did it. I had heard stories about you and the others back home. I considered you my rival, someone I needed to surpass. I still don't know how we ended up here, but I wouldn't have it any other way. It's been almost a year since then, and you barely know anything about me, yet you love me regardless. So, I feel I should tell you everything, everything there is to know about me and what I've been through, because I trust you." Erika took a deep breath, this was gonna be hard.

Gordon finally spoke, "Erika, whatever you have to say, it can't be as bad as you think."

His words struck a nerve. Erika's expression hardened, "Have you ever witness death? Have you ever had everything and everyone you know and love taken away from you? Have you ever had the world just come crashing down on you? Have you ever been locked up in a shed for 40 years, just rusting away as the world left you behind?" He didn't answer and Erika regretted what she had just said, "Sorry."

"Erika, I love you and I'm not going to judge you. Whatever happened to you in the past, it's not going to affect how I feel." He kissed her briefly. That was all Erika needed from him, his reassurance, his support, his love.

"Well, it all started when I woke up on a flat bed…"


	2. Introductions

Author's Note: The italics in quotes is Erika speaking in present time.

_Chapter 2 – Introductions_

'_It all started when I woke up on a flatbed…'_

* * *

_California – 1941_

"Oh good, you're awake! I was beginning to think I'd be traveling alone!"

Erika slowly opened her eyes. Blue irises scanned their surroundings. She saw rolling green hills for as far as the eye could see. There were cows grazing, the sun was shining in the cloudless sky. She was moving, she looked ahead of her. A large black engine was pulling the flatbed car she was on. If Erika could see behind her, she'd see the long train of freight that followed. Erika looked back at the engine in front of her, "Where are we?" she asked.

"We're going through the Altamont Pass, I'm taking you home." The engine answered.

"Where's _home?_"

The black engine giggled, "Oh how I love you new engines! Always so curious and full of questions, luckily, they're simple ones. We're going to San Francisco."

'_Engines?'_ Erika though, _'What's that?'_ She figured she'd ask, "What's an "engine?"

"They're - - _we're_ locomotives that run on steam. Well, some of us run on diesel, some on electricity but, we all transport goods and people. You and I are steam engines; we require water to run."

"Oh… who are you? Who am I?"

"How rude of me, my name is Alice. I'm a 3900 Union Pacific Challenger, one of the largest of the steam engines. You're…" Alice paused to think, she wasn't quite sure what this engine was. She decided to guess. "You look like the others so, I guess you're a passenger engine. Southern Pacific Daylight, I think?"

"What's _my_ name?"

"Now _that_, I don't know, they didn't name you before you left?"

Erika thought about it, she didn't think she had a name. Then, one came to her, "How's Erika?"

"Sounds fine to me, good thing you chose one that starts with an "e" otherwise your sisters would have a fit!"

"Sisters?"

"You'll meet them soon enough, dear."

Erika smiled, she was eager to meet these sisters of hers. She hoped they were as friendly and nice as Alice. The two continued to talk as they made their way to San Francisco.

After what seemed like forever, the two engines entered the San Francisco depot. She gazed in awe as they passed by the Bay Bridge; she'd never seen something so tall. Erika looked around the depot. The place was loud and busy. There were men busy loading and unloading passenger cars. They reminded Erika of the humans she saw when she first woke up at the workshop. Then she saw small, square engines shunting coaches. Erika was amazed by them; they didn't look like Alice at all. She didn't know what they were doing but, whatever it was, it looked like fun. Alice came to a stop, "Here we are dear. I'll let the others take it from here. You should be meeting your driver and fireman soon, I wish you the best of luck!" she said cheerfully.

Erika began to panic. Driver, fireman… Who or what were they and where was Alice going? "You're _leaving_ me?!" she asked frantically.

Alice laughed, "You'll be fine dear, you're in good hands. The people here will take care of you. And I won't be gone forever, you'll see me again." The black Challenger was uncoupled from the train. Erika watched sadly as she disappeared into the distance. Erika surveyed her surroundings again, she was alone and she didn't like it. What could she do? She was stuck on a flatbed with no fuel, no driver, nothing. So she waited for something to happen.

"My, my you are a pretty engine. I hope Edith and Elena don't get too jealous." A male voice said from below.

"Elena more so than Edith, she's so vain…" another male voice said. Erika looked down and saw two men, both wearing similar blue and white uniforms.

"Who are you?" she asked.

"Wow, you even _sound_ beautiful, Elena won't like that!" the man on the right said, "My name is Samuel, but everyone calls me Sam. I'm your driver." He smiled at her. Erika studied her new driver. He was young, tall, pale-skinned, and short brown hair and beautiful blue eyes.

The other man raised his hand, "I'm your fireman, name's Andrew." He was shorter and chubbier than Sam. He also had brown hair and matching brown eyes.

Erika smiled back at them, "I'm Erika… Um, what do you two do?"

"Well," Same paused; he wasn't too sure how to explain his job. The word "driver" seemed pretty obvious but the engine didn't know what the word meant. "I control your speed and brakes, I keep you from derailing. Andrew maintains your firebox and keeps it going. He manages your fuel."

"Oh," was all Erika said.

After a moment of silence, Andrew clapped his hands, "Ok, now that introductions are over, let's get you off that flatbed and fueled up. We've got things to do and not much time to do them." As he spoke, a few men came in and unchained Erika. She was then lifted off the flatbed and with a crane.

Sam noticed Erika's frightened expression, "It's ok girl they're just lowering you onto the tracks." His voice seemed to calm the steam engine's fear as she was lowered onto the rails.

Erika felt something bump her from behind. "What's going on?"

"They're coupling you to your tender, it holds your fuel."

"Does that mean I can move on my own?"

"Not yet, it's empty. We have to fill it first."

Erika pouted, she wanted to get going. She wanted to go meet her sisters. Her driver and fireman went to get into her cab as a familiar face approached her.

"Well, hello again!" It was Alice. The two engines smiled at each other, it was the first time they got to see each other's faces. Alice looked a bit older than Erika; she could tell that she was wise beyond her years and, _very_ big. She was only a bit taller than Erika but she still felt intimidated.

"Alice, what are you doing here?"

"I'm here to shunt you to the fueling station."

The Southern Pacific frowned, "What's a - -"

"We're going to get your fuel so you can move on your own, dear."

Erika's face brightened, "Then can I meet my sisters?!"

"Probably," Sam chimed in.

Erika watched as she was coupled to Alice. She flinched as Alice pushed her towards the fueling station. She felt weird going in reverse, but at least she was moving and off that flatbed. "So, what do you do here?" Erika asked.

Alice's green eyes met Erika's blue, "Other than shunt you around all day? I mostly pull freight from the western US all the way to the Midwest and parts of the south. I pull passenger trains too but I enjoy the long journeys that only a goods train can provide. Seeing all the different parts of the country is so fulfilling. I've been through flat land, mountains, hills, grassy fields, even desert. From snow to rain to bright sunny skies, I've seen it all." Erika was amazed; she wanted to do all those things. She wanted to see what Alice had seen and more.

After they reached the fueling station, Alice departed once again. Erika waited as her fireman filled her tender. "OK girl, let's get you up and running!" Andrew said eagerly. Erika could feel her firebox beginning to stir, it felt weird but in a good way. Her pistons began to pump and her wheels started to turn, she was moving, on her _own_. She smiled brightly, finally she could move.

"She's moving smoothly," she heard Sam say.

"Can I go see my sisters now?!" Erika asked.

"Yes you can, let's head over to the shed."

As Erika approached the shed, she saw two engines already there. They were black with red and orange skirting. When she stopped in front of them, the two engines stopped chatting and stared at her. Erika's excitement faded and nervousness crept over her, "Um, hello… My name is Erika. I just got here from the workshop and I - -"

Their blank stares transformed into big, wide smiles, "You're here!" they cried in unison.

"You look simply wonderful, dear."

"Not as wonderful as I, but you do look beautiful, as a Daylight should! And look at those blue eyes!"

"Blue? They must have made an error, her eyes are supposed to be amber like ours. Silly humans, oh well. At least they knew to give her a name."

"Um, are you two Edith and Elena?" Erika asked meekly.

"I'm Edith," the engine on the left said, "I'm your eldest sister. This is Elena."

"I'm the most beautiful sister," Elena added.

Edith only rolled her eyes in response. Feeling a bit more comfortable, Erika continued, "So, what's our job here?" she asked.

Edith laughed, "Did not tell you that _either_? We're Southern Pacific Daylights, hence the red and orange colors. We transport passengers throughout California. We start here in San Francisco, and then go all the way down to Los Angeles."

"Where's that?"

"It's south of here, very far south."

"Speaking of which, I need to get ready for _my_ trip," Elena said. "Erika, would like to head to the station with me and see what you'll eventually be doing?"

"Sure!" Erika answered happily.

"Follow me then, sister." Elena emerged from her shed and headed for the station with Erika following behind. The two engines approached a platform with lots of people. They were all talking and chattering while they waited to board. "This is where you go to be coupled to your train." She explained.

"Where are you going?"

"Los Angeles."

"Do you _always_ go there?"

"Yes and soon, you will too." Elena became annoyed, she whistled loudly, so loud all the passengers stopped talking and turned their attention to her. "Where are my coaches?! I'm going to be _late_!" Suddenly, a square, black, yellow-striped, GE 44-ton switcher came into view. It had 12 coaches behind it. Elena glared, "Lady, where have you been? My passengers are waiting, I'm waiting! Do you want me to be late?"

The switcher hurriedly passed by the two engines, "I'm so sorry Elena. I was getting cars ready for Alice. Here are yours." Lady said.

Elena snorted, "Diesels, so unreliable. All they're good for is shunting and they can't even do _that_ right." Erika looked down sadly; she felt bad for the diesel engine. Once Elena was coupled to her coaches, people began to board. "Now, once your passengers have boarded, you wait for the conductor's signal. You can't leave until then." Elena instructed. They heard the sound of a whistle blow, "Well, that's my cue! I'll see you tomorrow, Erika!" Erika watched as her sister puffed out of the station; her 12 orange and red coaches trailing behind her.

The rest of the day, Erika toured the depot as well as the railways of San Francisco. She saw so many new and interesting things, she couldn't remember them all. Out of all the things she saw, the bridges had to be the most spectacular. They were so tall, they even towered over Alice. She particularly liked the red one. Sam told her it was called the Golden Gate Bridge. When she had mentioned that it was red and not gold he told her that it's the gateway for California, the Golden State. She didn't understand but she didn't bother pushing the issue further. She had stared at the bridge for hours and hours until the sun started to set and she was forced to return to the depot.

As she made her way towards the sheds, she noticed the black and yellow switcher from earlier, Lady. She was still organizing coaches. Erika called to her, "Hello!" The diesel stopped and began to panic once she saw the steam engine.

"Oh no, I'm so sorry! I'll get your coaches ready!" she exclaimed.

"What? Oh, no, I'm not waiting for any coaches. I saw you when I was with Elena earlier."

"Oh," Lady settled down, "I don't think I saw you, I was so busy. What's your name?"

"I'm Erika, I just got here."

"Hello, Erika, welcome to San Francisco! I hope you enjoy it here."

"So far so good, say, what were you doing with the coaches earlier?"

"I'm a switcher. It's my job to shunt around the coaches and get them ready for the passenger engines, like you and your sisters."

"Do you want any help? I was watching you and some of the others when I first arrived, it looks like fun."

Lady raised an eyebrow at the Daylight engine. She never thought a steam engine would be offering to help. They usually just barked out orders and yelled at her for being slow. She had to get coaches ready for Edith and she was already behind. It was only a matter of time before she would get yelled at again. "Um, sure, yeah you can help. Just be careful, these aren't freight cars! Can you take these coaches and bring them to the platform? Edith is probably already there. She's a bit more patient than Elena but don't push her. I'll be there in a few with the end car." Erika smiled. She was starting to feel kind of useless and was eager to do something other than just puff around the city. She quickly gathered the coaches and took them to Edith.

The 4412 Southern Pacific waited at the platform. With the coming of the newer Daylights, Edith's passenger days were starting to become scarce. When she did travel, it was usually late in the day. Her eyes widened as she saw her coaches, "Well Lady, you certainly are ahead of schedule today." Her expression turned to shock as soon as she saw who was delivering her coaches. "_Erika_? What are you _doing_?!"

Erika stopped, she was still smiling. "I'm delivering your coaches for you, sister!"

"What is _wrong_ with you? We do _not_ shunt! We are _passenger_ engines! We are above and beyond shunting."

It was Erika's turn to be shocked, "But… I just wanted to help out Lady. Elena was really mean to her earlier and - -"

"Daylights **don't**shunt! Now you leave those coaches there and let Lady do her job."

Erika was unfortunately uncoupled from the coaches; she had only wanted to help. As she returned to the sheds she passed by Lady who was delivering the observation car. Lady smiled at Erika but she ignored it. Behind her, she could hear her sister yelling at Lady for "making a steam engine do a diesel's job."

"_I felt so bad for Lady. I had gotten her in trouble. She didn't speak to me later that night either. I tried to apologize the next day, but she kept saying she couldn't talk because she was busy. I guess Edith said some really nasty things."_


	3. Big Boys

Author's Note: A big thanks to everyone for the reviews, follows, and favorites. To make it clear, I probably won't be adding anymore Sodor engines other than the main 8 since, this a back story and Erika didn't arrive to the island until decades later, although I may find a way to mention them later. Also, if you're wondering how Erika looks, you can see my portrayal of her on my DA. There's a link on my profile page.

* * *

_Chapter 3 – Big Boys_

'_I was __so__ curious; I just had to try it!'_

* * *

"_The next morning, I was bound for Los Angeles. I was so excited since it would be my very first run."_

At the platform, Erika waited for her coaches to arrive. She remembered what had happened last night and how Lady was treated. She had to apologize before she left. She saw the little diesel switcher and perked up, "Good morning, Lady!"

The diesel was surprised, "Oh, good morning Erika. Your coaches are ready."

"Thank you for delivering them to me."

She saw a small smile form on Lady's face, "You're welcome, Erika."

Erika smiled back. "Hurry and board now everyone, I don't want to be late!" she said cheerfully to her passengers. As they boarded, her driver approached her.

"Big day's here, you ready, girl?" he asked.

"Of course I can't wait to see the coastline!"

"Well, let's get going." Sam continued forward until he reached her cab and got in. As soon as she heard the conductor's whistle, Erika pulled out of the station.

"Good luck, dear!" she heard Alice shout.

"Have fun, Erika!" Lady exclaimed.

She whistled at her friends as she headed out of the depot and towards San José. When she reached the station, she saw Edith. Erika whistled at her older sister. "Good morning, Edith!"

"Why Erika, I didn't expect to see you pulling coaches so soon." Her sister said.

"Sam said I was doing well, so they're having me pull the morning train… Shouldn't Elena be back by now?"

Edith sighed, "They pushed her to pull next morning train back, so I'm doing the afternoon one."

"So, she's still there then?"

"She _should_ be."

The two talked a little longer before they went their separate ways. After she left Salinas, Erika made her way to the horseshoe curve, a line of track that curved in a way that resembled a horseshoe. Her eyes widened and slowed down a little; she wasn't so sure about this. Sam laughed, "It's ok Erika, you're built for turns like this!" he assured her. He picked up her speed and carefully guided the engine through it. She heard him cheer and shout, "Hah, did you see that, Andrew? She did it like a pro! And this is only her first time!"

"I'm right here, Sam. Of course I saw it. And yes, she's doing well." Andrew said flatly. Erika felt herself becoming more confident, but all that went down the gutter when she went through a tunnel. It was so dark and she couldn't see, then her headlights came on.

"Sorry about that girl," Sam said.

They continued on through hills, fields, and coastline until they finally reached Los Angeles. By the time they got there, it was getting dark but the station was still very busy. She looked around once she pulled into the station. It was bigger than the one in San Francisco and she could see tall palm trees. Even the air was different; it smelled like the ocean mixed in with exhaust smells she didn't recognize. Erika coughed and gagged. She did her best not to breathe too much of it in. After being uncoupled from the coaches, she decided to look for her sister. Edith did say she was here and she hoped she hadn't missed her.

"I'm so glad I got to see you, Glen." That was Elena's voice! Erika turned a corner and saw her sister talking to a large black engine with a silver smoke box. It looked bigger than Alice! It even resembled her but it was so much longer. She could clearly see all the pipes that connected to the boiler and piston rods. She listened closely as the huge engine spoke.

"I'm glad I got to see you before you returned to San Francisco. It's been so long."

"I know, and you never come visit me either."

"Well, it's not like I can control it. They've got me and Aaron running up and down the Midwest… we're heading back there in a few days." The big engine noticed Elena's disappointment, "Don't worry. I'll be back. I promise."

"Ok," Elena managed to form a small smile, "I love you, Glen."

He smiled back at her, "I love you too, Elena."

Erika's eyes widened in shock at what she saw next, the two engines brought themselves closer to each other until their lips touched. They were kissing… two engines kissing. Up until now, Erika had no idea this was possible. Sure, they all had faces but with all the different types and models, she didn't think it could happen. She watched as the two engines were caught up in the moment. She wondered what it felt like, judging from the way her sister was acting, it must be a good feeling. She decided to leave the two be and continue towards the sheds.

"Sam," Erika started.

"Yeah," he answered as he backed her into the shed.

"Why do people kiss?"

"Uh…"

"How does it feel?"

"Well…"

"Can I do it?"

Her driver got out of her cab and faced her, "Why are you asking me this?"

She was about to tell him what she had seen but thought better of it, "I saw a couple do it at the Santa Barbara station," she lied. "It looked like they were enjoying it."

"Well, yeah sure. Kissing can be fun, I guess…"

"But why do they do it?"

"Because they're in love."

"What's love?"

"It's when you really, really like someone. When you want to be with that person forever and spend your life with them."

"What does it feel like? How do you know when you're in love?"

"Um, that's something I really can't explain. You'll know it when it happens." He saw that Erika wasn't happy with the answer he'd given her. "You're such a curious engine. It's almost like you're human."

Later than night, Elena returned to the shed. She sighed happily. "Elena, you look really happy!" Erika's voice startled the other Daylight out of her day dreamy state.

"Little Sister, what are you doing here?!" she exclaimed.

"I just got in from pulling the morning train."

Elena calmed down, "Oh, well then… did you enjoy the trip?"

"Yes! I saw so many things, the ocean, hills, trees, farms. It was amazing!"

"Well I'm glad you liked it because you'll be seeing it pretty much every day." She was about to continue on her way when Erika spoke.

"Um, Elena, who was that engine I saw you with earlier?"

Her sister's face went pale and her amber eyes widened, "You saw us?" she asked worriedly.

"Yes, who was he? He was huge, bigger than Alice even!"

"Forget what you saw."

"What… why?"

"You saw _nothing_!" Erika said nothing further. She didn't understand what the problem was. Why wouldn't Elena tell her?

The next day, Erika woke up to see a large, black engine to the left of her. It was so long that all she could see was its tender and part of the boiler. Could this be the engine Elena was kissing? She crept forward so she could see its face. Like with Alice, she felt nervous. "Um, excuse me, are you… Glen?" she asked.

The big engine stirred, it slowly opened its eyes. Deep blue eyes met Erika's lighter blue. "Heh, I may look like my brother but, I'm not him." His voice was low, Erika kind of liked it. The engine frowned at her, "Elena, what happened to your eyes?"

Erika smirked, "I may look like my sister, but I'm not her. My name is Erika."

"Erika huh, didn't know Elena had another sister. My name is Aaron."

"…What _are_ you?"

"I'm a steam engine. I work for the Union Pacific railroad, they call us Big Boys."

"Big Boys huh, well the name certainly fits. You're bigger than a Challenger!"

"Pff, Challengers. They may be big but they don't have the type of power we do. People flock to see my brother and I thunder up and down the tracks. We're the largest steam engines in the world."

Erika was impressed; she didn't think they made them any bigger than Alice. "How come I've never seen you before?"

"Because, little engine, we travel all over the US. We're freight engines. You're just a passenger engine; they won't even let you leave the state. It's a shame though; you're missing out on so much. Technically, we shouldn't be here but we were in the area and Glen just _had_ to see your sister. I don't get him."

"What's wrong with that?"

"Engines shouldn't be in relationships. It's conflicting and can get in the way of work. I can't tell you how many times we were late because of his infatuation. I'd leave him behind but they're making us pull larger-than-normal freight trains which require two of us."

"But, what if there is no conflict and everyone remains professional?"

Aaron laughed, "Ha, like that's possible. It's better to keep your feelings at bay and focus on your job. Love doesn't make you a useful engine."

"_I listened to Aaron for who knows how long. He went on and on about his travels and how much better he was than other steam engines. Oh how arrogant he was… The whole time he talked, I thought about what I saw Elena and Glen do. I was so curious about it… I just had to find out how it felt."_

"Say Aaron, you ever been kissed before?" Erika asked simply.

The big engine stopped his mindless chatter and looked over at the Daylight. "Excuse me?"

"You seem like such a proud engine, I'm sure you've kissed many girls while on your travels."

"Well… I uh - -"

"If don't mind… would you do me the _honor _of kissing me?" She lowered her voice and closed her eyes halfway. "I mean, we _do_ have faces after all… And lips… Besides, it's just a kiss. Engines shouldn't be in relationships, you said so yourself. So, we shouldn't have to worry about feelings developing, right? It's a onetime thing, I promise."

The black and silver engine had a light blush on his face. He didn't know what to say. Truth be told, he'd never been kissed before himself, but he couldn't let Erika know that. He had a reputation to uphold.

Erika started to become frustrated with his lack of response. She pretended to look surprised, "Don't tell me a Big Boy like yourself _hasn't_ been kissed before?"

"Of course I have! I've kissed so many girls, I've lost count!"

"Then you'll do it?"

Aaron paused; his face was even redder now. After a few seconds passed, he opened his mouth. "Yeah, sure I will. But try not to fall in love."

"I could tell you the same thing, _Big Boy_."

Aaron watched as Erika left the shed so she could position herself in front of him. Their blue eyes met. He tried to study her, she was up to something but he couldn't figure out what or why. This was all happening so fast. "So," Erika began, "what do I do?"

"Um… well…" Aaron did his best to act like he knew. His arrogance and confidence was quickly fading. "Well first, you need to be closer… a lot… closer." Erika moved in closer. So close, their faces were almost touching. The bigger engine cleared his throat before continuing. "Uh, close your eyes!"

She looked at him for a moment before closing them, "Now what?"

"Now I'll… kiss you." He could have just fallen apart he was so nervous. Aaron looked at Erika; she looked so weird just sitting there with her eyes closed. With a deep sigh, and sudden burst of confidence, he closed his eyes and kissed Erika.

"_He was rather… rough. He was so forceful; he managed to push me back a few feet. Maybe it was his way of releasing built up tension. Maybe I underestimated his strength. Maybe I didn't expect him to actually do it. It was obvious he was lying, but the experience was like nothing I had ever felt before. I liked it; I could see why humans, and my sister, did it."_

Aaron broke away from Erika slowly, he was still blushing. Erika slowly opened her eyes; her lips were still slightly parted. Neither engine said anything. She looked into his deep, blue eyes. "You… you want to do that again?" she asked.

He waited a moment before responding, "Ok…"

The two engines kissed again only this time, Erika returned the amount of force Aaron had once put on her. She wasn't strong enough to push him, but she did try. As they got into it, their kisses became more rapid and rougher. Every time one would break away, the other would go back in. By the time they finally stopped, both were out of breath and red in the face. Erika grinned, "You're good."

Aaron grinned as well, "You should expect nothing less from the world's largest engine." His deep blue eyes scanned Erika, "You may have just given me a reason to come back here more often."

"Oh, I'll be here."

Unknown to them, they were being watched. Elena had seen everything and she wasn't pleased with what she had witnessed. Later that afternoon, she was scheduled to head back to San Francisco. However, she wasn't about to leave until she confronted her sister. She saw Erika approaching her, she whistled. The younger Daylight came to a stop. The smile on her face only angered Elena further. "What do you think you're doing?" she asked.

Erika slowly looked at her big sister, "Why, whatever do you mean?"

"You know what I _mean_! What were you doing with Aaron?"

Her smile became a cheeky grin, "You saw that, huh?"

"Yes, I did."

"…Forget what you saw."

Elena was surprised, "How _dare_ you! Do you know how much trouble you could get into?"

"Then why do _you_ do it?" Elena didn't respond so Erika continued, "Besides, it's just a kiss after all."

"Do you even have feelings for him?"

"I could ask you the same about Glen, but you'd rather keep it to yourself. So I hoped you'd do me the favor of minding your own business. Have a safe trip, _Big Sister_." She stared at her sister a bit more before heading on her way, leaving Elena in a state of shock and pure anger.

* * *

Erika paused; she bit her lower lip and looked up at Gordon. She wondered what he was thinking. She _really_ didn't want to tell him about what had happened with Aaron but she said she'd tell him _everything_. He looked back at her. She couldn't tell if he was mad, hurt, confused, or if he even cared at all. She waited for him to speak before continuing. "Well," he said finally, "_did_ you have feelings for him?"

"At the time… I'm not sure; I mostly just wanted to try kissing. He just happened to be the closest male there."

"Do you now?"

"No, of course not," His unsure expression began to worry Erika. She hoped he wasn't beginning to doubt her affection for him. "I love _you_, Gordon, don't ever doubt that."

"I know, Erika... What happened next?"

"Well, after Elena left, I had to stay overnight in LA until Edith returned. At least one of us had to stay in one city if the other two were in the other. Sam had introduced me to an old friend of his. She just so happened to be Aaron's driver. I think her name was Vanessa or something… I knew then that I'd be seeing him more often than I had hoped…"

* * *

It was a warm evening in the city of angels. Erika and Aaron's drivers decided to stay late at the sheds and play catch-up. Erika studied the female human sitting on Aaron's cowcatcher. She was fairly attractive. Light colored eyes, long black hair, fair skin, curves in all the right places… Erika mentally rolled her eyes. She knew she was prettier, her driver had told her she was the most beautiful engine he had ever seen.

"So, uh, how'd _you_ get a job on the railway?" Sam asked.

"We're at _war_, if you hadn't noticed." Vanessa said sarcastically, "Everyone needs to do their part and help any and every way they can."

"Most women are working in factories and such."

"I have connections. Besides, my father is the controller, if you have forgotten."

"Controller, what's that?" Erika jumped in.

"The controller is our boss, he runs the railway." She turned her attention back to Sam. "I see your Daylight has taken quite a liking to my Big Boy." Erika was confused, Aaron blushed. Sam looked up at both of them, then back to Vanessa. "But I don't blame her. If _I_ was an engine, I'd be on him in a minute. I mean, who _wouldn't_ want over a million pounds of pure strength? He just screams masculinity!"

"I've never heard of engines being in love before." Sam said, he wasn't quite sure if he believe her or not.

"Well, they _do_ have personalities. They have feelings, I'm sure they can."

"Wouldn't it be conflicting though?"

"Workplace relationships work with humans, why not them?"

Later that evening the two engines were alone in the shed, except for Aaron's bother Glen, who was snoring at the far end. Vanessa's words still rung in Erika's head, _'I see your Daylight has taken quite a liking to my Big Boy.'_ The Daylight frowned; she didn't like Aaron, well not in the way his driver had meant. It was just a kiss, nothing more, nothing less.

"My brother and I are leaving tomorrow morning."

Erika broke away from her thoughts, "What?"

"Yeah, we're headed for Nebraska. I don't really care for it. There's nothing there but fields and fields of nothing."

"Oh…"

"I don't know how long we'll be gone, but I'm sure you'll manage without me."

"I'm sure I will."

"So… how about another round to remember me by, you know, one of those good-bye kisses."

Erika grinned, "Nah, I think I'll make you wait. That way, you'll come back faster."

"_If only I had known what I had gotten myself into…"_


	4. Love and Regret

Chapter 4 – Love and Regret

'_The more time I spent with him, the more I realized I was falling in love…'_

* * *

_San Francisco – December 1941_

Time passed by quickly for Erika and the other engines. It seemed like she had arrived only yesterday. It was the holiday season and the station was busier than usual. It had gotten to the point where the three Daylights couldn't keep up and they had to bring in Alice, much to Elena's display. She moaned and groaned every time the old Challenger was coupled to the coaches. She mentioned how she would biff and bash them and how rough she was. Her criticism was starting to take a toll on Alice's sanity. Luckily, the return of Glen put an end to the Daylight's constant bitching.

One day, Erika's fireman decided to pull a prank on Sam. He attached mistletoe just above Erika's head. She watched him, "What are you doing, Andrew?" she asked.

"Oh, you just wait," he answered. When the mistletoe was ready, Andrew went to go get Sam. Erika smiled once she saw her driver. Over the course of the year, the two had become closer. He would often stay with her after hours, even after a long, hard journey. They'd talk about almost anything and anyone, the controller, the other engines, whatever came up. She felt her cheeks getting hotter once he and Andrew approached her. "Hey Sam, I found a scratch on Erika, you mind double checking for me?"

Sam raised an eyebrow, "You called me in here for _that_?" he asked.

"Oh you know how these Daylights are, they must look perfect or else they won't work."

Sam sighed. He climbed onto her cowcatcher and scanned Erika's face. His face was so close to hers. Erika's heart was racing, her face was so hot, she felt she was about to burst. Her driver could only smile when he saw the mistletoe above them. "Really, Drew?"

Andrew laughed, "You know what that means!"

Sam grinned and looked at Erika; he didn't seem to notice her blush or extreme nervousness. "Well, looks like I have no other choice. Merry Christmas, girl," he kissed her forehead softly. Erika could have died, she was so happy. She was on Cloud 9 and she hoped she'd never come down.

While Erika was enjoying her high, two other engines were in a moment of their own. Elena looked into Glen's dark eyes lovingly. She was happy to have her Big Boy back. He and his brother had returned to California to help with holiday shipments; neither engine mind however. He had been assigned to work up and down California's bay area while Aaron was in LA. Glen smiled softly at the Daylight, "I missed you, Elena, so much."

Elena smiled seductively at him, "I've missed you too, Big Boy." She approached him slowly and pressed her lips against his. Normally, they wouldn't do it out in the open but Elena couldn't contain herself. She hadn't seen him most of the year and his absence had made her tense. She released her frustrations onto him; she kissed Glen harder.

He backed up a little, "Whoa girl, calm down."

Elena blushed, she felt ashamed, "I'm sorry." She saw Erika and Aaron kiss like that and she thought he'd be into it.

"You were never one to like it rough... I kinda like it. I figured you were too much of a lady for stuff like that."

Elena grinned, "I'm just full of surprises."

The two kissed again. If Elena wanted force, Glen was going to give it to her. He kissed her firmly. The Daylight let herself become overpowered by the Big Boy. His kisses became more rapid and harder as he began to push her back. Elena's face turned red, her lips were getting tired and sore, and her brakes made an awful screech. But she didn't care, she loved it. She was often the one in control and it was a nice change to play the submissive role. She loved the way he exerted his dominance on her. He paused for a moment, letting his love recover; she was dazed and out of breath. "Oh how I've missed you, girl," Glen whispered.

She looked at him; she could tell he had some built up tension that needed releasing too. Elena became worried, "What if we get caught?"

He gave her a stern look, "I don't care anymore." He closed his eyes and went in for more and the Daylight willingly gave it to him. She was ready to give him everything.

Erika was chuffing around the depot happily; she didn't even have anything to do and she didn't care. The man she secretly had a crush on had kissed her. She had never felt like this before but she liked it. Maybe this is how love felt. She noticed her sister and Glen in their usual spot doing their usual thing but something made her stop, something was different. She noticed the two were being rather aggressive with each other. Erika smirked and continued on her way.

* * *

"_I knew Elena wasn't the dainty, high-class engine she claimed to be. She was as rough as I am deep down, maybe even rougher. I wonder if Edith was like that. Too bad I never got the chance to ask her though."_

* * *

That evening, Erika and Sam were having another one of their late night conversations. It annoyed the hell out of the other engines but they ignored them. Her driver stood up, "It's getting late, Erika. It's going on 1am and I need to get home and sleep." He said.

Erika pouted. She didn't want him to go and always did her best to make him stay longer, regardless of how late or tired he was. "Hey, Sam?" she asked. Her driver looked at her and she continued, "What do you want for Christmas?"

Sam was thrown. He was expecting to get asked one of her usual questions about life and love. Sometimes he wondered if she was an engine or a human trapped in one. "Well, I uh," he thought about it. He was so busy with work that he it hadn't crossed his mind. "I'll be happy with anything you get me, Erika. What do _you_ want?"

'_You…'_ she thought and sighed. "If only…"

"Erika?"

His voiced snapped her out of her thoughts, "Oh, I mean - - um… I don't know? Spending time with you is good enough for me!" Erika mentally cursed herself for saying that.

Sam chuckled, "Well then, you've made my job easier."

She wasn't really sure what he meant but, if it meant they could spend more time together, then she didn't care. Sam noticed the mistletoe was still hanging above her face, "You getting tired of that thing on your face yet?"

The Daylight looked up, she had completely forgotten about it. An idea came to her and a sly grin formed on her face. "You want to take it down for me? It's getting itchy."

"Alright," he climbed up onto her cowcatcher. Sam realized his error as soon as his face was close to hers. He sighed playfully. Erika's smile was so wide it could have split her face in half. "Looks like you got me."

"Hey, I don't make the rules."

"Goodnight, Erika." Sam kissed her forehead again before taking the mistletoe down and departing. As she slept, Erika dreamt of Sam. She dreamt about him telling her how he felt, his kind smile, his blue eyes looked lovingly into her own. _'I love you, Erika.'_

"I love you too, Sam…" she mumbled in her sleep.

* * *

"_I didn't think there was a problem with me being in love with a human. As long as we cared for each other, what else mattered?"_

* * *

The next morning, Erika was bound for Los Angeles again. The weather was cold and drizzly. Erika could see her own breath. As she waited for her crew to arrive she noticed Edith was waking up. "Edith, you ever been in love?" Erika asked.

Her big sister was surprised, "Where'd that come from?"

"Well…" the blue-eyed Daylight paused. There was no way in hell she was going to confess her feelings to Edith, or Elena for that matter. She didn't know if Edith knew about Elena and Glen's relationship either and the last thing she wanted to do was bust her.

The eldest Daylight groaned, "Have you seen Elena and Glen? I can't believe those two! They could at least have the common curtsey to find a secluded spot. I'd rather not have to worry about rolling into one of their make-out sessions."

"So, you've never been in love then?"

"Sister, I'm a Daylight; I don't have time for that. Even though dozens of engines have fallen for me," her expression softened. "However, there was this one engine. He was a 4-8-4 from the Santa Fé Railway. I don't remember his name. I don't know how it happened or what he said but he somehow got me alone one night…" Edith bit her lower lip; she was blushing slightly. "Damn…" her voice trailed off. Erika grinned; it seemed Edith had a heart after all.

Soon Erika's crew arrived and she was getting ready to leave for Los Angeles. As she waited for Lady the controller arrived. He was a tall lanky man; his skin had a yellowish tint to it. Erika never really did get a good look at his face but she figured he was somewhere in his 40's. Sam stuck his head out of the cab as he approached. "Need something, boss?" he asked.

"You're going to have to deliver some packages to Santa Barbara. They were supposed to go with Alice but they didn't get attached to the train." The controller said.

Erika was horrified. She didn't pull freight, she pulled passengers. What if the cars damaged her coaches? What if they were too heavy and she broke a cylinder? What would others say when they saw a Daylight pulling a freight train? She'd be a mockery of the railway, a disgrace to her sisters. "Excuse me, Sir," she called.

The controller turned towards her; he clearly wasn't in the mood, "What is it, Erika?"

"Sir, can't Glen do it? Isn't that what he's here for?"

"He's already delivering stuff to the Port of Oakland. You're the only engine heading south and these packages need to be in Santa Barbara ASAP."

"But Siiiiir, I'm a passenger engine, not a freight engine! It's not my job to - -"

"You will do as you're told, Erika. Edith will take care of your passengers."

"But I'll be a disgrace to the railway! What will people think when they see a premier steam engine pulling a goods train?" she continued to whine as the controller exited. "Sir, this isn't fair! You can't make me do this! I don't wanna!"

Sam laughed at the Daylight's misery. "Orders are orders, Erika. It's not all bad; we'll be able to test your strength. Plus, you don't have to be as gentle with freight like you do with coaches."

Erika sluggishly made her way to Santa Barbara. Sure, she could have gone faster since there were no stops to make but she wanted to show everyone how much pain she was in. She didn't care if she was late or if she got in trouble. Every time her driver attempted to pick up her speed, she'd just reduce it again and it was beginning to annoy him. "You're not being very useful, Erika."

"I don't care; I don't want to do this."

"Sometimes we have to do things we don't want to."

"I shouldn't have to."

"Well, the world doesn't revolve around you. You need to be more considerate towards others. I had plans tonight, but I guess they'll have to be canceled since you're taking your sweet time getting to Santa Barbara."

Erika's anger faded. She didn't want to inconvenience him or anyone else other than the controller, especially not Sam. "I'm sorry, Sam." She said sadly, "I'll go faster."

"Thank you, Erika."

Once Erika reached the station in Santa Barbara, she was quickly uncoupled from her train and it was pushed off to a siding to be unloaded. The Daylight quickly made her way to Los Angeles; she wanted to make up for time she had wasted being childish. She pulled into the station just before the sun started to set. Erika took a deep breath; she was tired and worn out. She had gone just a little too fast and almost jumped the track a few times; regardless she made it. "I'm sorry," she said again. "I hope you don't have to cancel your plans."

Sam looked ahead of them, he saw Vanessa in the distance with Aaron, "No, not at all. Let's get you to the shed so you can rest. You did well today despite the delay from earlier."

Erika smiled, "Ok." She was so relieved that he wasn't still angry with her. Alice was in the shed resting peacefully. Her green eyes slowly opened once she saw Erika backing into the spot next to her.

"Why hello dear, I haven't seen you in a long time!"

"I could say the same. They're really putting you to work."

The old Challenger laughed, "I've been put through worse. These passenger trains are nothing compared to the dozens of goods I've pulled. It is a nice change though. I haven't pulled coaches in a long time, especially since the war began. When I heard a Daylight was on its way here, I prayed it wasn't Elena. That girl is so rude and bossy."

"Glen is there now, so she's calmed down."

"I don't know how he deals with it."

"People act differently when they're in love."

"Speaking of which," a sly smile formed on her face, "What's going on with you? You've been acting very strange these past few days."

Erika's eyes widened, "Have I?"

"Don't be silly Erika, I've seen you. We all have. You're always wandering around the depot with your head in the clouds. And, when someone talks to you, you're totally out of it. So, spill it, what's going on?"

Erika didn't know what to say. She didn't think she was that obvious. She wanted to tell someone about her crush, but could she trust Alice? "I um… I - - I," Erika felt her cheeks heat up; she struggled to find the words.

"It's alright dear, you can tell me anything."

"I… I like - - no, I'm in love with my driver…" she said as quietly as she could.

The color had drained from Alice's face. She hadn't expected that, this was bad. "Erika!"

"I get so happy when I see him. I love our late night conversations. I love everything about him! Andrew hung some mistletoe over my head yesterday, he brought Sam in… He kissed me, twice. I could have died."

"Erika… Does he feel the same?"

"I don't know, but I _think_ he does. He's always telling me how beautiful I am, he likes being with me."

"Erika, he's your _driver_, a human. You can't - -"

Erika became angry, "So what? As long as we care for each other, what else matters? First Aaron tells me loving another engine is wrong and now you're saying loving a human is wrong. Are we not allowed to love at _all_? Are we just supposed to keep these feelings to ourselves?"

Alice sighed, "An engine is one thing… but a human… Erika, it wouldn't work, it can't."

"Why?"

Alice didn't answer; she was still processing what she had just heard. In all her years, she had never heard of an engine/human relationship. It was taboo to even consider it. To be honest, she thought Erika was gonna tell her she liked Aaron; Elena did tell her about what she had seen. Perhaps the young Daylight was just confused? "Erika, are you sure it's love? I mean, well all love our crew. They take care of us."

"It's more than just that. I've gone past that love… and I don't want to go back. I want to be with him forever."

"Does he know how you feel?"

"No, I've wanted to tell him but I don't have the courage."

"I don't think you should, not until you're sure. I'm only trying to protect you. I don't want you to get hurt and I don't want you to get into serious trouble."

"So, you won't tell anyone?"

"Of course not, dear."

"Thanks, Alice."

That night, when all the engines had long since fell asleep, the sounds of laughing and footsteps could be heard. Erika was ripped from her dreams of her love. She looked around, trying to place the origin of the sounds. Young teenagers would often jump the fence late at night to do God knows what, and they'd always get to feel her wrath for waking her up. "Stupid kids," she said. She had a long, tiring day and she hadn't recovered from earlier. Whoever it was, they were going to pay for waking her up. Erika's eyes eventually landed on two figures by the entrance; she studied them. Erika recognized the figured. She gasped, _'No… it couldn't be… it can't!'_

It was Sam, and he was with Vanessa; he had his arms wrapped around her waist. "You know I shouldn't be out this late," she said playfully. "My father will be angry if he finds out."

"He's in San Francisco, how would he know?" Sam asked.

"Engines do have eyes, you know."

"They're asleep." He sighed, "I never thought I'd see you again, it's been so long."

"I don't think I'll be leaving anytime soon. I like being a driver, it's fun. And," she brought her face closer to his. "We can pick up where we left off all those years ago…"

Erika watched sadly as the two kissed. She couldn't believe it; and what made it worse was that she had to sit there and endure it. She couldn't leave. So, she closed her eyes and tried to suppress her sobs until the couple left. Once the coast was clear, Erika let her tears flow freely; her heart shattered. Unbeknownst to her, another engine had seen the whole thing. "Erika, I'm so sorry," Alice whispered to herself.

* * *

"_I cried all night, I just couldn't believe it. I was so hurt. Alice tried to comfort me, she even stayed up all night with me even though she had to be up early the next morning. But, it wasn't over yet, life had another plan in store for me…"_

* * *

Erika was still in shock the next day; she had somehow managed to stop crying. When she saw Sam, she almost lost it again. She did her best to conceal her sadness. He couldn't know what she had seen. She felt like dying. As she pulled out of the shed, Aaron approached her. "Hey Erika, can I talk to you?" he asked.

She looked up at him. He didn't seem to notice her less than happy disposition, "Yeah… sure." She whispered.

The Big Boy blushed slightly, "You remember what I said about engines and love, that they shouldn't be in relationships?"

"Yeah."

"Well… I uh - - I guess I need to take that back." He paused, "Ever since that day, I can't stop thinking about you. There's just something about you that I can't quite pinpoint. You're not like other engines, and I guess that's what won me over."

Erika raised her eyebrows, what was he talking about? Wait, he wasn't going to - -

"And those blue eyes, I've never seen anything like them. They're so beautiful… You're beautiful." He stopped again; this was dragging on for too long. "I can't believe I'm saying this but… I think I'm in love with you."

Erika felt herself on the verge of tears again. Those words she wanted to hear so badly were coming from someone else, someone she didn't have feelings for. Nevertheless, she managed to smile. Oh how life hated her. She looked into his deep blue eyes; they were so full of love. Love she wished Sam had for her. "Well, today must be your lucky day then, Big Boy." He smiled softly at her as she slowly approached him and pressed her lips against his own.

* * *

"_I - - I couldn't do it. I didn't want anyone to experience the kind of pain I was feeling. I thought maybe I'd learn to love him eventually. I was so distraught, I just wanted someone to care for me, even if it was someone I didn't love back. But maybe I should have, it would have saved us a lot of pain in the long run…"_

* * *

Author's Note: I wanted to split Erika getting her heart-broken and Aaron's confession into separate chapters but writer's block wouldn't let me. Oh well.


	5. Tight Turns

_Chapter 5 – Tight Turns_

'_It's in the past now… I won't judge you.'_

* * *

_Sodor – Knapford Station,_ _2013_

Erika sniffed. She didn't realize she had been crying. She thought she had gotten over losing Sam but that apparently wasn't the case. Erika looked at Gordon. He was looking down at the ground; his eyes moving left and right as he was lost in his thoughts. "I…" she finally said, "I love you. And _only_ you don't let my past change your opinion about that. I - -"

"I know," Gordon said quietly, still fixated on the ground. Then finally, his eyes met hers, "The past is in the past, right? Nothing we can do about it now."

"Are you angry?"

"Should I be?"

Erika scanned her brain for an answer but found none, "No… No, I guess not." The Daylight noticed the change in lighting, the sun was rising. She let out a small giggle, "Sorry Gordon, I kept you up all night."

The blue engine laughed, "Ah well, nothing new. I guess this _is_ like the night we confessed our love; it even has the staying-up-all-night part. I guess we should head back so we can get whatever sleep we can."

"Right… right," Erika bit her lower lip; there was a huge problem with Gordon's idea. "Gordon, we don't have any drivers and my firebox has long since gone out. I can only assume yours has as well. Plus, our brakes are on…"

"I can see that…"

The two engines were silent. Erika hadn't thought about what would've happened if Samantha didn't get back in time or what they would do until she got back. They were all going to be in so much trouble. "So… what do you want to do until Sam gets back?"

Gordon grinned, "I can think of a few things."

Erika was intrigued, "I'm listening." Gordon kissed her gently, "I _like_ your idea."

"I knew you would."

The two locked lips again. Nothing better to do and this was the perfect opportunity for intimacy. The station was still empty; they had privacy, beautiful privacy. Usually, this made Erika be a bit more daring but she decided to let Gordon be in control and took pleasure in the long, slow kisses he was giving her. "Mm, this _is_ just like that night, eh Gordon?" Erika whispered to him.

She only got a simple "uh huh" from him before he went in for more. Erika thought she heard approaching footsteps and retracted from Gordon, who gave her an annoyed look in response. He absolutely _hated_ it when she did that. She always pulled away at the worst possible moments. "I think someone's coming."

The blue engine was unamused, "So?"

"What if it's the controller?"

"Again: _so_? You've never let the possibility of others seeing us bother you, why start caring now?"

"I just don't want us to get in trouble."

"I repeat - -"

"Oh shut up."

A cheeky grin formed on Gordon's lips, "Make me."

Erika frowned, she knew what he was doing, but she decided to let him have his fun. "Fine, I will." She kissed him hard and he easily returned it with equal force. As the two continued their kissing session, they hadn't noticed that the footsteps had stopped. Samantha was about to speak but then realized what she had just walked in on. She sighed and headed straight for Erika's cab as quickly as she could. No matter how many times she unwillingly walked in on it, she was never going to get use to seeing two locomotives making out. Luckily, it ended when Erika felt her firebox being ignited. "Sam, when did you get here?!"

Her driver popped out of her cab and headed towards Gordon's, "I've _been_ here. I didn't want to interrupt your little love session so I didn't say anything."

"Oh…" Erika felt herself turning red. Although she didn't mind if others saw her kissing Gordon, it was always embarrassing when they told her they saw it.

"Ok, let's get you two back to the shed. It's going to be time for Gordon to pull the express soon so I hope everyone got some sleep in."

"Of course we did!" Erika lied. It wasn't until she got going that she realized how tired she was and she had to make a lighting fast journey back to Vicarstown too. Today was going to be a long, long day.

The Southern Pacific 4449 chugged sluggishly out of the Vicarstown station and headed towards Norramby. She yawned. As soon as she got back to Vicarstown, Erika had to immediately get to work. The only sleep she got was when she had to stop at junctions; she prayed she'd get red so she could stop. After she reached Norramby, she had to go back and pull an express from Vicarstown to Tidmouth. On a normal day, Erika would hurry the passengers into the coaches so she could get going. Her express allowed her to roar down the main line at high speeds, but not today. Today, she didn't hurry everyone, she barely whistled when she departed. "You didn't sleep, did you Erika?" her driver asked.

"No…" the engine replied.

Samantha laughed, "Well, that's what you get for staying up all night with your man."

"Yeah, well…" Erika approached a junction, the light was red. _'Yes! Time for sleep, I hope it's Henry. He always has long goods trains.'_ As she drifted off, she heard a faint whistle.

"…Express coming through…" It was Gordon, he sounded tired. Erika watched as he slowly passed by her, he didn't even notice she was there.

"He's going to be late," Samantha said.

Erika smiled, "I don't think he really cares."

"You really shouldn't keep him up all night. He's getting old, you know?"

The Daylight snorted, "Yeah, ok Sam."

Once she reached Tidmouth, Erika headed for the sheds. Now she could have the glorious sleep she craved for. She didn't even make it off the turntable; Erika was out before she could even back into the shed. Samantha could only smile, "Poor girl," she thought out loud. After backing the steam engine into her shed, Samantha got out of the cab and faced Erika. "Sleep well, girl." She said softly and departed.

Hours passed as Erika slept the day away. Although a lot younger than Gordon, she couldn't stay up all night and be expected to work the following morning. She was no spring chicken either. She would have to find a different way to talk to him. Erika began to stir when she heard approaching voices, but she was still too tired to open her eyes and decided she'd just listen instead.

"Why are you so tired? We were over 40 minutes late!"

"Uh… I had a bad dream?"

Erika opened her eyes slightly, her vision still blurry. She saw a big blue blur on the turntable, as her eyes began to focus and adjust, she realized it was Gordon. He was talking to his driver. She closed her eyes again and pretended to be asleep as he backed into the shed next to her. His driver sighed, "It's that damned Daylight again, isn't it?" Gordon's lack of response gave him his answer. "Gordon, what have I told you? It's bad enough you're in a relationship but now she's keeping you up at night. You can't do that. We can't keep being late."

"I made up the time in the end, besides it's only happened - -"

"It's happened more than once. Do you _want_ to lose your position again? I still can't even grasp the fact that you're in love." The two fell silent. Erika didn't think their relationship was conflicting with their jobs, well not _too_ conflicting. His driver sighed heavily, "Oh Gordon… Gordon the Big Grand engine in love… how is this even possible? I figured you were too big-headed to have feelings for anyone else."

Gordon smirked, "You should know more about that than me."

"That I do." He sighed again, "You really like her, don't you?"

"Hah, I've gone far past just liking her…" Gordon's voice trailed off.

His driver noticed the calm smile on the engine's face, "She _is_ pretty. An engine with blue eyes never thought I'd see it."

"They're beautiful…"

"Well, I'll let you catch up on sleep. You have a busy evening tonight and I'd _like_ to have a well-rested and alert engine." He patted Gordon's buffer beam gently, "Rest well, old boy."

Erika didn't open her eyes until she was sure Gordon's driver had left. She looked at him, he was sleeping soundly. She wanted to talk to him but she figured she'd robbed him enough of his sleep already. "I love you, Gordon," she told him quietly before drifting off to sleep.

Sometime later, the couple was awakened by the sound of tires grinding against the gravel. Doors opened then closed, they could hear footsteps approaching them. Erika slowly opened her eyes to see the Fat Controller with the historian. The controller frowned at her, "Erika, what has gotten into you? Running off like that, very rude too." He scolded.

"I know, Sir, I'm sorry." Erika replied. "It's just that… talking about my past isn't exactly easy."

The controller sighed regretfully, he knew all too well about Erika's history. However, he figured she had moved on from it, but he had been wrong. "I'm sorry as well, Erika. I should have been more aware of your feelings."

His words surprised the Daylight but she accepted his apology regardless. "If it would make you feel better, Erika." Mary-Ann jumped in, "You can tell me what you want to. I don't want to make you uncomfortable. In fact," she looked at Gordon, "I'm somewhat interested in the relationship you have with Gordon. I always find relationships between engines fascinating by how much they resemble human ones."

Erika thought about it, she figured she had enough time before she had to get ready for the evening shift. "Sure, I've got nothing better to do. The world knows how much Gordon loves being talked about." She answered, grinning at him. The blue engine only rolled his eyes. After the controller left, the historian began asking Erika the typical questions. How they got together, what's it like, so on and so forth. But one question in particular threw both her and Gordon off.

"Are you two able to kiss?" she asked.

"Um… what?" Erika asked.

"Well I mean, wouldn't Gordon's buffer beam get in the way?"

"Uh…" Erika looked to Gordon; he was just as confused as she was. Then she looked at his buffer beam, "Well… no?" Since Erika had a small, yet stylish, cowcatcher, she had no problem reaching Gordon's face.

"How do you actually do it? With humans, you usually have to turn your head…" She studied the two for a while before continuing. "Hmm… maybe not."

Once the sun had set, it was time to get ready for the, what Samantha dubbed the "Nor' Western Daylight Express" since it was a combination of Gordon's express from Tidmouth, and Erika's train from Vicarstown. It was a long evening train pulled by both Gordon and Erika and the one time they got to work together. The train started in Tidmouth, then Knapford, followed by Crosby, Cronk, and then finally Vicarstown before doubling back. The train had become popular among the people of Sodor since it was the only time you could see American and English steam engines working together on a regular basis. Of course Gordon and Erika didn't mind, they loved the extra attention. Erika was usually the lead engine, much to Gordon's driver's dismay. He hated working with Samantha; she was always way too upbeat and cocky.

As the two of them waited for Erika, Percy was busy getting the coaches ready. Gordon's driver was becoming frustrated; he liked to be on time. It was getting closer to departure time and, once again, Erika took her time. Just as he thought they were going to be late, he saw the Daylight approaching.

Once at the station, Erika's driver hopped out of the cab and approached him. "Looks like it's that time again, eh Alex?" Samantha asked, smiling brightly.

Alex forced a smile of his own, "Uh… yeah…"

"Look at them, American and British steam coming together to make sweet love. Good thing they're already in love too!" She turned her attention to Gordon and Erika, "Are you two love birds ready?" they whistled loudly in response. "Good, let's get going then!" She looked back at Alex, "Erika's built for speed; I hope Gordon can keep up!"

Alex's expression soured, "Gordon will be fine. As long as you don't speed through turns like you always do. We almost derailed last time."

"Bah, Erika took that turn like a pro! What are you talking about?"

Gordon's driver said nothing more and two went back to their engines. The doors opened and commuters began to board. After the doors closed, Samantha looked behind her and saw the conductor's green flag, "Let's do this." Steam billowed from the two engines as they headed for Knapford.

It wasn't long until they reached Knapford, there were even more people, most were just there to see the two engines in action. But this was just the start, the two really shined once they left Wellsworth. Normally, one would slow down or have another engine when they reached Gordon's Hill but not these two. With Gordon pushing behind her, Erika climbed the hill while maintaining a decent speed. "You're doing well, girl." She heard her driver tell her. Erika grinned. As the train approached Maron, Erika noticed James on the adjacent track.

She had an idea, "Gordon, I see James up ahead. You wanna show him the power of two _big, fat_ tender engines?"

Gordon grinned, "But of course!"

The two engines picked up speed and, when close enough to James, they whistled as loudly as they could. "Out of our way, express coming through!" they roared and thundered past James. The red engine jolted and winced at their loud whistles. He felt the rails under him shake as the rest of the train passed him.

"What in the world was _that_!?" he thought out loud. Erika laughed, if only she could have seen James' face. From Cronk onward the two engines made their way to Vicarstown. People gathered at the stations in-between to watch Gordon and Erika go by.

"You two were great tonight," Samantha said once they reached Vicarstown.

"Yes, no derailing or fatalities, I'm surprised!" Alex added.

"You doubt my capabilities as a driver too much."

"Gordon is leading on the way back; you can't just speed through stations like that. Someone could have gotten hurt."

"Well, if they're stupid enough to be so close to the edge of the platform…"

"That's not the point."

"They had fun, did you see the way they tackled that hill? It was beautiful; Gordon makes a great back engine. Erika is made to be in the front, she took those turns with pure elegance."

Alex's eyes narrowed, "Gordon can do just as well in the front. If anything, Erika should be in the back more often. I can't see anything past that monstrous tender of hers."

Samantha noticed Erika's hurt expression and frowned, "Hey now - -"

Alex headed back towards Gordon's cab, "We need to get going."

The two engines were uncoupled and Gordon was moved to the front. Erika was still upset; she thought she had done a good job. "Don't worry girl, you were great. And your tender is fine." Samantha said softly.

As they passed the junction that lead towards Rolf's Castle, Gordon remembered the night he told Erika he loved her. He started to day dream, "You looked so beautiful that night." He said.

"I what?" Erika asked.

"Did I say that out loud?"

"You did."

They were quickly approaching a tight turn; Alex took Gordon's speed down a little. However they were still going pretty fast. They had taken the turn so many times and nothing bad ever became of it.

"We're approaching a turn, why are we going so fast?" Samantha thought out loud. A worried expression formed on Erika's face; she had a bad feeling about this. As they came closer, Gordon's driver realized how fast they were really going. He tried to apply the brakes but, it was too late. The big engine's leading wheels came off the track and he was sent hurling down the side. Erika tried to stop but, at the speeds they were going, and the weight from all those coaches pushed her forward. As she followed Gordon down the ravine, memories of the past began to flood her mind…

* * *

"_Little Sister, you worry too much," Elena said. "We are Daylights, we are built for turns!" The two engines were on their way back to San Francisco. Night had fallen and they were late. Elena was going faster than usual, trying to make up for lost time._

_A worried expression formed on Erika's face. She knew they were going way too fast. The passengers were probably complaining about the less than smooth ride. She noticed they were approaching the horseshoe curve. The curve was a series of tight turns that formed a horseshoe. A Southern Pacific engineering feat some would call it, an unholy nightmare to others. "Elena, we really should slow down." Erika said._

_Her older sister snorted, "Ha, now you think you can give __me__ advice? I've taken this curve more times than I can remember! I'll have you know that I - -"_

_Erika would never know what her sister was going to say. As soon as they entered the first part of the curve, Elena's wheels jumped the track. Her brakes screeched loudly as she tried to stop but she had built up too much momentum as she was sent speeding down the hill. Erika was painfully uncoupled from her sister as her tender tore her cowcatcher. She came to a stop as her driving wheels came off the track, but she didn't go down the hill. Erika watched in horror as her sister disappeared into the darkness below. She could hear Elena's screams, her whistle blew loudly. Then there was a loud crash…_

* * *

The sound of Samantha's screams broke Erika out of her nightmare. She felt something pulling at her cowcatcher. The pain was unbearable; she thought she was going to pass out. Then she heard the sound of metal tearing; the Daylight screamed in pain as Gordon's tender ripped her cowcatcher off. The two engines separated, Gordon continued his downward journey while debris lodged themselves into Erika's wheels. Unable to move them, she went to the left and slammed face first into a large pine tree. Her faceplate cracked on impact. Her whistle wailed loudly, its ear-piercing cry rang throughout the hillside and was followed by the sound of another crash. As her whistle finally gave out, she heard the sound of another. It was Gordon's and it was just as off pitch as hers had been. But it didn't stop; it kept going. She didn't know what had happened to Gordon, but she was about to find out.

The coaches began to topple and roll down the hill, dragging Erika with them. She broke away from her tender and continued down the same slope that Gordon had while lying on her left side; she slid passed the train she was once connected to and came to a stop by slamming into the foot of a rocky hill. Rocks and debris rained from the hill above. Erika's headlights flickered before going out, steam seeped from underneath her. Then… silence.

* * *

A/N: I figured we needed to get back to the present before continuing. Sadly, it didn't end well. To answer metalheadrailfan's question: Alice is not the 3985, she's the 3900. One of the first Challengers ever built. If not _the_ first, actually, I'll list all their numbers (SP is Southern Pacific and UP is Union Pacific):

Erika SP 4449, Edith SP 4412, Elena SP 4421, Aaron UP 4014, Glen UP 4012

Anyone else have any questions, feel free to ask and keep the reviews coming. I am certainly happy you all are enjoying this!


	6. Fall Silently

_Chapter 6 – Fall Silently_

'_Her screams still haunt me to this day…'_

* * *

_Los Angeles 1943_

It had been two years since Erika had gotten her heart broken, and even now, it still stung. When she saw Sam and Vanessa together, the pain returned. The night she saw them replayed itself over and over endlessly. What made matters worse was their talks about getting married once the war ended. She wasn't sure how she lasted this long. The close bond they once had shared was in pieces, she didn't say much to him anymore. Even when he tried to converse with her, she'd just say she was too tired. In all honesty, she missed their late night talks but Erika didn't want Sam to see her cry. She was supposed to be strong and she planned on keeping up that façade, no matter how hard it became.

However, she found some comfort in Aaron. True, he wasn't Sam and she didn't particularly love him, but she had developed some sort of feelings for the Big Boy. He kept her mind off her heartache. She felt better when he was around. His kiss stopped her tears from flowing, something she had found herself doing more often recently. When he'd ask her why she was so sad and she gave the same answer, "Because I've missed you so much." It was a partial lie but there was no way she could tell him the truth, especially after this long.

The two big engines sat in a siding outside of the sheds. It was a cool night in April. The wind blew gently and the moon shined brightly. Aaron moved a little closer to Erika; she trembled slightly when she felt his forehead against her own. He noticed her lip beginning to quiver and he smiled sadly, "Come on, girl. I'll be back, I always come back."

"I'm sorry…" Erika said before completely losing it.

The Big Boy sighed; he hated to see her cry and she always did it whenever he had to go. He wondered if Elena did this to Glen. He hated that there was no better way to comfort her, that this was the best he could offer other than kiss her. It was times like these that made him hate being an engine. "I'm still here, so let's enjoy it while we can." He said softly. Aaron kissed Erika gently and she willingly returned it. Over the years, the way he kissed her and changed. He use to be rough and dirty but he had come to enjoy the slow, long, loving ones. It seemed to calm Erika down better as well, which was a plus. As he pulled away, he looked deeply into her blue eyes. "I won't be gone long, I promise."

The Daylight smiled sadly, "Ok…"

"I love you, Erika."

The words still bothered her, they still hurt. Every time he said it, she couldn't stop herself from tearing up. This time, however, she managed to hold back, at least a little. She managed to form a small smile on her face. "I know you do, Big Boy. I know you do." He smiled back at her before going in to kiss his love again.

The next day Aaron and his brother were off again on another one of their long journeys, leaving their girls behind. Erika couldn't help herself and began to cry again. Elena smiled at her younger sister, "The first few good-byes are always the hardest. You'll get use to it eventually." However, she didn't know the true reason behind Erika's tears. She didn't know that once Aaron was gone, Erika was left with the thoughts that plagued her. The only one who really understood was Alice but, like Aaron and Glen, was off on another long journey. Elena watched her sister cry her blue eyes out then suddenly, an idea came to her. "Come Sister, I know what will take your mind off it." Erika watched as her sister left and station before going after her.

The two Daylights made their way out of the station and eventually entered the shipping yards outside of the city. They passed by the dozens of dock workers and engines waiting for their trains to be loaded or unloaded. They came upon an area filled with freight cars. Erika watched as her sister biffed one of the cars roughly; she giggled as it rolled off ahead of her into more cars.

"I thought Daylights didn't shunt?" Erika asked flatly.

Elena frowned, "Silly girl. We're not _shunting_, we're having _fun_!" She biffed another car, "Now you try it. It's a really good stress reliever!" Erika stared at her sister again then slowly rolled up to a car and lightly hit it. The car barely moved. Elena was less than unimpressed. "Oh come on, Erika! What happened to your fun side?"

"It died about two years ago…"

Elena rolled her amber eyes, "You're such the comedian. Now, hit it like you _mean_ it! You'll feel better afterwards, I promise!" Erika paused for a moment before hitting the car again, only a little harder. She smiled slightly, her sister noticed. "See, isn't this much better than sitting in the sheds all day crying?"

"I suppose…"

"You _suppose_?! Don't start acting like Edith now! You're not old enough for that!" Erika's small smile turned into a laugh; she hit another line of cars. The two sisters spent the rest of the day biffing and bashing cars until it was time to return to the station. When they arrived, the controller gave the two Daylights a stern talking to. Since they had spent the day goofing off, they station had fallen severely behind schedule. To make up for lost time, and please the dozens of angry passengers, the two were assigned to double-head a longer-than-usual evening train.

Elena had brushed the controller's words off. She had gotten scolded by him in the past and had learned to tune it out. Erika, on the other hand, was concerned. She had never gotten in trouble with the controller before and was scared.

Her sister reassured her as she backed into Erika and they were coupled. "Don't listen to that old fart, he's nothing but all talk." Elena said. The younger Daylight looked down sadly, she wasn't too convinced.

As soon as the train was out of Los Angeles, Elena began to pick up speed, Erika struggled to keep up. "Elena, slow down!" Erika exclaimed.

"Pah, we're fine! Besides, that old fart bucket said we're late. I'll show him what for!" With that said, the older Daylight went even faster, nearly dragging Erika and the rest of the train at this point.

A worried expression formed on Erika's face. She knew they were going way too fast. The passengers were probably complaining about the less than smooth ride. She noticed they were approaching the horseshoe curve. "Elena, we really should slow down." Erika said.

Her older sister snorted, "Ha, now you think you can give _me_ advice? I've taken this curve more times than I can remember! I'll have you know that I - -"

Erika would never know what her sister was going to say. As soon as they entered the first part of the curve, Elena's wheels jumped the track. Her brakes screeched loudly as she tried to stop but she had built up too much momentum as she was sent hurling down the hill. Erika was painfully uncoupled from her sister as her tender tore her cowcatcher. She came to a stop as her driving wheels came off the track, but she didn't follow Elena. Erika watched in horror as her sister disappeared into the darkness below. She could hear Elena's screams, her whistle blew loudly. Then there was a loud crash…

"Elena!"

* * *

_Sodor 2013_

Bunker fuel mixed with water began to pour out from under Erika's boiler. She looked around, it was so dark, and her vision had begun to blur and begun to fade. But she did see who she could only assume was Gordon next to her. "Gordon..." she murmured.

The blue engine groaned, "Erika?"

Erika felt tears forming in her eyes, "I'm glad you're ok..."

"Erika... Erika, I'm so sorry."

Erika smiled weakly, "It's ok…" She coughed and black liquid came up. Gordon cringed at the gurgling sound she made as she struggled for air. "I love you, Gordon."

"…Erika, I - -" His words were cut off. The two engines had forgotten about the rest of the train, and Erika's large tender that was still attached. It came rolling down and slammed into Gordon. The big engine cried in pain as the tender smashed through his boiler and smoke box. Erika could only watch in horror, forced to listen to Gordon's screaming until it was silenced by the rest of the coaches that followed.

Samantha slowly got up; groaning in pain. She had jumped from Erika's cab before she struck the tree. She heard the sounds of people moaning, yelling, and crying and followed the sounds to the wreck site. Alex and the rest of their crew were already there. She figured he had jumped from Gordon's cab before it was too late. "Oh my God..." she looked at the coaches that had piled on top of one another; their flickering lights lit up the scene. She watched as passengers did their best to get out. What she didn't see, were Erika and Gordon. She didn't hear their voices either, but she heard Gordon's whistle. She walked towards Alex but stepped back when she felt something under her shoes. It was bunker fuel, Erika's fuel. "Call the controller, get Rocky out here!" she yelled but Alex stayed put, awestruck by the spectacle in front of him.

"I'm so sorry..." he whispered.

"_What are you doing? Call for help!"_

"_What's going on, why have we stopped? What was that sound?"_

"_We've derailed, Elena was uncoupled from Erika."_

"_We're so far out. Help won't get to us for a while."_

"_We need to go check on her crew."_

"_It's far too dark and dangerous; we'll go at the first sign of light."_

Voices of the past filled Erika's mind. It was so dark now, even darker than before. She didn't hear Gordon anymore, she couldn't even see him. She did her best to stay conscious but she found herself to be quickly losing the battle. As her eyes began to close, she wondered if this is what Elena must have felt.

As night became day, the severity of the damage was revealed. After all the passengers had gone, the workers spent most of the day removing the coaches and Erika's tender from the crash site. Samantha screamed when she saw the two engines, Alex looked away, the Fat Controller cringed.

Erika's tender had smashed into Gordon's smoke box and boiler, leaving a huge gash along the side that had claimed his left eye and water was still seeping out. He had since passed out from the pain alone although the expression on his face said otherwise. Gordon was covered in deep scratches and dents ran along the sides of his boiler, his once proud blue livery spoiled. His cab had been dented by falling rocks from the top of the hill. His whistle had finally given out. His face was covered in bunker fuel. His buffer beam crushed, leading wheels gone. Gordon's rods had detached and his driving wheels were bent. The wheels spun on their own slowly. His tender lay off to the side. It had toppled over, scattering coal everywhere. Part of Erika's cowcatcher was still attached to it.

Erika lay on her left side in a pool of her own fuel and water. Despite being clogged, her piston rod still tried to move. It tried to keep itself going only to become stuck. It made an awful sound. Her left piston struggled to move from under her, but only made a loud clicking sound. It made it appear she was convulsing. Her faceplate had been smashed by the tree, leaving her nearly unrecognizable. Her cowcatcher mangled. Parts of her metal plating were also gone, revealing the boiler it once protected.

Pieces of black, blue, orange, and red metal lay everywhere, they glistened in the water they floated in. Neither engine spoke or showed any signs of life. It almost seemed like they were sleeping. The only sounds they emitted were from Erika's broken piston rods. The three watched as water and fuel continued to flow from the two engines and form a pool at their feet.

Samantha rushed over to them, "Erika, Gordon, say something! Talk to me!" she only got the sound Erika's stuck pistons as a response. "Come on girl, open those blue eyes of yours!"

Alex slowly approached Gordon; he looked up at the blue engine and the deep, dark hole in his face. "Gordon… I'm so sorry…" His driver collapsed to the ground where Gordon's buffer beam should have been. The Fat Controller watched with remorse at the drivers' failed attempts at reviving their engines. He couldn't quite grasp the situation. There have been accidents before but none were ever this bad.

"Erika, please… say something, _anything_!" Samantha felt herself on the verge of tears. Then, she looked up and saw Gordon up close.

At the top of the hill, Henry, James, and Edward were waiting with two large flat-beds. They didn't see Erika and Gordon's condition, but they did hear Erika's driver's screaming and crying. Whatever happened to them, it wasn't good. "I hope they're OK." James said. He had remembered the way he treated Erika and felt regret starting to creep up on him.

"We can only hope," Edward said from behind James. The three engines watched as Gordon was pulled out first, without his tender. James closed his eyes once he saw the hole in Gordon's smokebox. Edward could only look on in horror.

"Gordon, what happened?" Henry asked sadly as the big engine was lowered onto the flat-bed. Gordon didn't respond, he didn't move. Henry couldn't help but stare at the gaping hole in his friend's face. He'd never seen damage like this before and he didn't want to see it ever again. He was sure he'd be seeing that hole in his nightmares for awhile.

It took a few hours to get Erika out. They had to wait for her firebox to completely die out so her pistons would stop. As she was lifted, everyone noticed that the side she had been laying on had collapsed into itself, creating a huge dent. Her orange and red skirting was gone. The remaining bunker fuel and water poured out of her boiler as she was lowered onto the flat-bed behind Gordon. The three tender engines said nothing as they headed towards the Steamworks with James and Edward in front and Henry as the back engine.

The Daylight groaned. She coughed up fuel and water. She tried to open her eyes but saw only blackness, she waited for her vision to return but it never did. Erika winced once the intense pain returned to her. She could tell she was moving but to where? Erika coughed again, she didn't know where she was and she couldn't see. "Gordon... Gordon, are you ok?" she called out. She remembered he was trying to tell her something but he had been cut off. She remembered hearing a loud crashing sound, then screaming then, silence. "Gordon..."

The blue engine in front of her opened his eyes. He didn't realize he couldn't see out of one of them. Luckily, Erika couldn't see the hole where his left eye once was. "Erika," he said quietly. He noticed the huge dent on her left side and in her faceplate. He saw her torn cowcatcher, "Erika, I'm sorry."

"It's ok... It's not your fault. We'll be fine, I'm sure."

"Erika, I - -"

She shushed him, "Don't talk. We'll be ok." She felt herself losing consciousness. Gordon soon found himself following suit. It was far too painful to stay awake.

Victor's eyes widened in horror once they pulled in to the Steamworks, "Aye Dios mio, what happened?!" he asked.

"They derailed," Edward answered.

The narrow-gauge engine puffed closer to the flat-beds. He saw the mix of water and bunker fuel begin to pool on the floor, "It's bad, I'm not going to lie. Are they conscious?"

James was about to speak when Henry stepped in, "Yes, they are! I heard them talking, I'm sure I did!" There was panic and desperation in his voice. Edward and James had heard nothing; could it have been Henry's own wishful thinking?

Victor looked back at the two disfigured engines. He could have sworn he could see all the way to the back of Gordon's boiler through the hole. "We will do what we can. That gash is bad, Gordon may never see out that eye again. I'm not sure if we have parts for Erika but, we'll try. Her faceplate is damaged so badly…" He stared at where Erika's face _should_ have been. The indentation looked to be about as deep as Gordon's gash.

After Henry, James, and Edward left, Erika and Gordon were quickly unloaded from the flat beds. They were worked on immediately. Victor sighed; this was going to take a _long_ time. And he didn't know if either engine could be saved.

The days turned into months as Victor and his team worked around the clock trying to fix Erika and Gordon. His boiler and smokebox were welded shut and was given a new buffer beam and wheels, his cab had to be rebuilt completely. However, there was still the issue with his eye. They couldn't just leave him with a gaping hole.

They had managed to find a new faceplate for Erika. However, it left her completely unrecognizable. Her feminine features were gone; she looked like she had gone back ten years in age. Her face and eyes were rounder, she looked more like a young teenager and much less like the young, adult woman she was before. Everyone wondered how Gordon would react, if he ever lived to find out. They didn't have any other compatible parts for her. They couldn't find any either. She was the last of her kind and at risk of getting scrapped.

"There is another Daylight," Mary-Ann told the controller while they were at the Steamworks observing the repairs. The Fat Controller, and Victor, gave her their attention. "A 4460 Southern Pacific, she's a GS-6, the last of her class like Erika. Last I heard she was on static display at the Museum of Transportation in St. Louis, Missouri. She's smaller than Erika, but a Daylight nonetheless."

"Does she know Erika?" the controller asked.

"That, I don't know. They might know each other."

"What's her name?"

"I believe it's… Ella."

The controller thought it over, he was still unsure. "It's worth a shot, Sir." Victor stepped in.


	7. Ella

_Chapter 7 – Ella_

'_You were always my favorite sister…'_

* * *

_Museum of Transportation in St. Louis, Missouri 2013_

She sat at the very back of the museum. Her black livery was faded; the white stripes on her pilot were peeling and chipped. She was dusty and dirty and in less than decent condition. The 4460 Southern Pacific sighed sadly, _"Another day, another opportunity to rust…"_ she thought. She heard the sound of approaching footsteps. She didn't get visitors that often, and being placed in the back didn't help. She watched as a short, fat man in a suit, followed by some other humans she didn't recognize, and a couple of the museum's staff approach her. The short, fat man was about to introduced himself, but she cut him off before he could even say his name.

"You're Sir Topham Hatt, the controller of the North Western Railway on Sodor… I know very well who you are, there isn't a steam engine alive that doesn't."

He chuckled lightly, "I wasn't aware how famous we really were. I remember another engine saying something similar… What's your name?"

"Ella, the Forgotten Daylight…" she sighed again, there was some bitterness behind her words.

"Well, Ella, I'd like to talk to you about something. Do you know Erika?"

Ella stared at him for a moment. It had been so long since she'd heard that name, but she remembered, she remembered well. "Yes… yes I do, I know her very well…"

* * *

_Los Angeles 1943_

Word of Elena's accident traveled fast. Luckily, Aaron and Glen weren't too far away by the time it reached them. Glen had bolted as quickly as possible, worried and scared out of his mind. "Slow it down, boy!" his driver called from his cab. "I know you're worried but we can't exceed the speed limits!" Glen didn't care, he didn't care about anyone or anything else but getting to her a soon as possible.

By the time the two brothers reached the Los Angeles depot, Alice had pulled in with a few flatbeds; they contained pieces of from the wreckage, including Elena's tender. Glen watched the train pass until he saw the last bed, Elena was on it. Her entire front was smashed. Her boiler was riddled with scrapes, scratches, and dents. Her wheels were bent and misshapen. However, the worst of all was the gaping hole where her faceplate once was, revealing the inside of her smokebox. She had no face. The beautiful amber eyes Glen couldn't stop looking into, the lips he loved to kiss, her cute little nose… gone. Alice looked to Glen sadly as he approached Elena in disbelief.

"… E-Elena, Can you hear me?" his voice was shaky and started to crack. He waited and waited for a response but received none. She showed no signs of life.

"I'm sorry, Glen…" Alice said quietly.

Aaron went in search of Erika, hoping she hadn't suffered the same fate as her sister. He soon found her at the sheds, workmen addressing her damaged cowcatcher. Her crew was doing their best to keep her calm. Sam stroked her cheek gently, "She'll be OK, Erika, nothing to worry about."

She flinched slightly at his touch. It had been so long, it felt foreign to her. "She doesn't have a _face_, Sam! It's _gone_!" The image of Elena without her faceplate flashed before her eyes again. Erika shut them tightly, trying to hold back her tears. She couldn't believe it. Just as they were starting to get along, Elena was taken from her. It wasn't fair.

"Erika…" The Daylight looked up upon hearing her name to see Aaron in front of her; he smiled softly. "I'm so glad you're alright."

"She's… she's gone, Aaron… and I… I couldn't do anything to save her…" Her emotions finally got the best of her as Erika finally broke down and cried. Sam and Andrew continued to comfort her the best they could, leaving Aaron to only sit and watch her cry uncontrollably.

They tried to fix her, crews worked all day and all night for weeks trying to get Elena up and running. They replaced her faceplate and gave her spare parts but nothing worked. Her fire never lit, her eyes never opened, her boiler was painfully cold. Glen stayed with her the entire time. He didn't budge, he refused to leave her. He wanted her to wake up, he wanted to see those amber eyes again, he wanted to hear her voice. He wanted it so bad… so bad it hurt.

"You can't sit here for the rest of your life, Glen. You have to move on at some point," his driver said, walking up to him.

The Big Boy looked down at him, "I'm not leaving her. I won't."

"I know you're worried and in pain but you still have a life, you still have work to do."

"My life is meaningless without her… I love her… I love her so much. I _can't_ lose her…" He looked back at the motionless Elena, half hoping the sound of his voice would wake her, but it didn't. It hadn't before so why would it now?

His driver sighed, "They're going to scrap her if she doesn't wake up, you know that. What are you going to do then?"

Glen was silent for a few moments. Then finally, his mouth opened, "I don't know… I really don't…"

Everyone waited and hoped, some even prayed. Unfortunately, Elena didn't wake up and the decision was made to scrap her. Edith had traveled from San Francisco to see her sister one last time, she still couldn't believe it. The older Daylight rolled up to her sister slowly, pressing her forehead against Elena's.

"Oh Elena… why, why won't you wake up?" Her face was stained with dried tears and her eyes were a little red. Edith sniffed, "Elena, please… please say something… anything?" It was a futile effort but she still had hope. She didn't want to believe that this would be the last time she would ever see her sister. However, as she stared at the lifeless Daylight before her, reality slowly started to sink in. Edith cried. She cried harder than she had ever cried before. "I love you, Elena… You… you were always my favorite sister…"

Soon enough, Alice pulled in with workmen, a crane and a flatbed coupled to her. Alice's green eyes met Edith's amber as she stopped next to her. The two engines said nothing; there was nothing to be said. Edith was put into reverse and moved so the workmen could prepare Elena to be lifted onto the flatbed. Alice looked at her, it seemed like she was sleeping. A sleep she'd never wake up from.

Just before she could be lifted, Glen pulled up in front of her. It was clear he had spent a good amount of time crying, not that he'd admit to it or let anyone see it. "I can't let you leave without saying good-bye…" his voice was quiet and hoarse. "I can't believe I'm forced to go on without you… I don't want to… I don't want to be without you." He inched closer to her, "I love you, Elena. I always will, and I'll _never_ love another more… ever." He kissed her softly. Her lips were colder than ice but he didn't care. Alice looked away, doing her best to maintain her composure but she failed and she felt tears flow from her eyes. Glen wanted it to last forever. He wanted it to be like those fairy tales where the girl woke up after being kissed by the one she loved. Deep down he knew it wasn't going to happen. Deep down, he knew this was the end, and that's what hurt the most. Glen forced himself to break away. He watched helplessly as Elena was lifted and then lowered onto the flatbed. He followed alongside as Alice began to move until finally stopping at the entrance. He looked on sadly as she made her way out of the depot and to the scrap yards on the other side of the city. Glen didn't care if anyone saw him cry now, "Good-bye, Elena…"

Erika stayed in the shed that day; she couldn't bring herself to see Elena again knowing damn well she'd regret it later. Aaron stayed with her, doing whatever he could to support her, which wasn't a lot. In the distance, she saw Glen, she heard his sobs, and for once in her life, he and her were on the same page. That night, Aaron decided to speak to his brother. He had spent so much time comforting Erika that he never got to check on Elena. He did get to say good-bye either. He found Glen at the entrance to the depot, staring in the distance. He said nothing as Aaron stopped next to him. "Hey Glen…" he said quietly.

"Hi."

"I… I'm sorry about Elena. I really am. I was hoping for her to wake up… we all were." Silence greeted the two Big Boys. Aaron sighed, "She was a great girl."

"She was wonderful, the best…" Glen sniffed, trying not to cry in front of his brother. "She was the best thing that ever happened to me… I loved her so much…"

"I know you do and I know she knows too."

Glen finally looked at his brother, "Do you think she heard me?"

"I… I don't know… If she did, I bet she was happy to know you were there. Look man, if you need to cry then do it. I don't care if you do it in front of me; whatever helps you cope with the pain." Aaron looked at Glen. They stared at each other for a long while. Slowly, tears began to form in Glen's eyes again. He finally looked away from his gaze.

"Crying isn't gonna bring her back," he said bitterly.

"No, no it's not. But it's not good to keep it in either."

Glen sighed shakily. Tears rolled down his cheeks freely now, "Why… why'd they have to take her from me!?" He shut his eyes tightly as his emotions took over him. "…Why?"

Aaron did his best to be the stronger of the two, "I don't know man. Life can be cruel sometimes."

His words only made Glen cry harder. "She… she was everything to me! What am I supposed to do now? She was all I had…"

"You go on living. I know it hurts now, but it will get easier as time passes."

He managed to calm down a bit, "I can't… I'll never forget her."

"No one's asking you to. I'd be stupid to even consider it! Just give it time, I know it seems like the world has ended but - -"

"But it has… my world anyway…" Aaron watched as Glen left the depot, unaware that it would be one of the very few times he'd see his brother. As time went on, Glen and Aaron saw each other less and less. Glen stayed in the mid-west, refusing to return to California, forcing Aaron to take the trips there alone.

The engines waited patiently in their San Francisco shed. A new engine was on its way to replace Elena, one from the newest line GS-classes, the GS-6. No one was really excited and Edith felt insulted.

"No one can replace Elena. Especially not some teeny tiny, imitation Daylight!" she said.

"Would you rather you and Erika work yourselves to death going up and down the line like you have been with no rest at all?" Alice asked, glancing at her. The older Daylight huffed but said nothing more.

"No one can replace Elena, and no one ever will." Erika said. "But, we do need help." She yawned, further proving her point. The trio heard an unfamiliar whistle approach them. The group watched as a large, black figure pulled into the depot and headed towards them. Edith raised an unamused eyebrow when the new engine stopped in front of them. She lacked the traditional Daylight skirting, the Daylight colors, and was indeed on the shorter side. Her less than stylish design only angered Edith further.

"Um, hello," the new engine said softly, smiling at them. "My name's Ella."

"Hi," Edith said bitterly.

"Ignore Edith, dear. She's an old, bitter engine." Alice said. Edith only huffed again. "I'm Alice."

"Erika…" Erika said. Her voice was distant.

Ella smiled at the two, "It's nice to meet you. I promise to do my best!" Erika and Alice smiled back at her but Edith was still grumpy. She turned her nose up at the black Daylight as she departed from the shed.

The rest of the day Erika made the effort to show Ella around and how everything worked. Edith sure as hell wasn't going to do it and Alice was off delivering goods to Oakland. "Back into the coaches slowly, Ella," Erika instructed. "Try not to hit them."

"Ok," Ella said nervously as she backed into the train as slowly and carefully as possible. Despite her best efforts, she knocked the coaches slightly. Edith laughed at her as she rolled up next to them.

Erika glared at her, "Edith, stop it, she's still learning!"

"I'd expect nothing less from an imitation Daylight!" Edith spat. She looked at Ella angrily, "You're no Daylight and you never will be! No engine could replace her!"

Erika sighed in frustration, "Edith, I understand you're still grieving but…" Her sister left before she could finish her sentence, leaving her train behind as well. Ella looked like she was close to tears. She didn't know what she had done to get on Edith's bad side. She hadn't been there long enough to know that she had a bad side to get on. "Please excuse Edith, she didn't mean it." Erika said softly. "We… we lost our sister not too long ago and it still hasn't really sunk in. It probably never will…"

"I'm sorry…" the black Daylight looked down.

"It's not your fault, it's no one's fault… Anyway, I guess you'll be taking her train as well." She spotted Lady up ahead and called to her. "Lady, do you mind adding Edith's train to Ella's?"

The switcher smiled as she rolled up to the abandoned train, "Of course, Erika. Just give me a few minutes."

"Thank you, Lady." She watched as Lady passed her before turning her attention back to Ella. "I'll be back, let me switch to your track." Along the way Erika ran into Alice who was just returning. She told the Challenger what happened; she was less than impressed.

"I'll talk to her. You just get your work done, dear."

"Alright, thank you Alice."

After switching points, Erika carefully backed into Ella. It brought memories of her run with Elena only this time, she was in the front. She looked ahead of her, she could see her sister's tender in front of her. Her mind recreated the entire scene. She watched her go over the edge and down the hill. She heard Elena's whistle… her screams and the sound of the loud crash that followed. Erika shut her eyes tightly and waited for the sounds to stop but they didn't. They got louder and louder. She clenched her teeth as the sounds became unbearably loud. "Make it stop!" she screamed.

"Erika?"

Her eyes fluttered open and darted around frantically, the whistle she heard was the conductor's. The screams turned into the sound of Ella's voice calling her name, wondering if she was OK.

"Are you OK, Erika? Is something wrong?" she asked.

Erika waited until she was calmer before speaking, "I'm… I'm fine… Come on; let's go before we fall behind schedule." As they departed from the station, Erika saw Alice talking to Edith. Well, yelling rather. She'd never seen the old Challenger so angry before and was somewhat glad she wasn't the one being yelled at. However, her mild joy faded as they left the city. Erika wondered what she'd find once she reached the curve and how she'd react. Ever since the crash, she had to be shunted through the section of track by Alice or Aaron. Sometimes, she'd meet them halfway at Salinas or San Luis Obispo and let them go the rest of the way. It was an inconvenience but she couldn't force herself to do it. Recently, Erika had been doing well before but, after than flashback, she wasn't so sure if she could do it.

* * *

_Sodor Steamworks 2013_

_Erika?_

_Erika…_

She stirred slightly at the sound of someone calling to her. The voice seemed so familiar. She wanted to open her eyes and see who was calling her but she couldn't. Her eyes were too heavy and she was too tired… and she felt so cold, so very cold. She felt something bump into her gently, something soft against her lips. It was warm, so warm… Eventually, feeling left her. Erika tried to move to get the sensation back but she couldn't. She couldn't move. No matter how much she tried, she couldn't.

_Erika, please wake up… I want to see your blue eyes… hear your voice…_

Their voice began to crack, their breath hitched slightly. Erika listened closely, she knew that voice. She knew it very well.

_Please don't leave me alone… I can't be without you._

"… Gordon…?"

The Steamworks fell silent. Victor rolled up alongside Gordon, Kevin pulled up not soon after. Gordon let out a small gasp, he rolled closer to Erika. He hoped he wasn't just hearing things or someone was playing a cruel joke on him. He tried to keep his voice steady, "…Erika? Erika, can you hear me? Please tell me I'm not just dreaming… Please wake up…"

The Daylight frowned as she struggled to meet his request. Everyone gathered around them and watched closely. Slowly, her eyes opened. Her vision was severely blurred. She blinked a few times to try to clear it but it never did. The light suddenly dimmed as something large approached her, she felt something warm against her forehead. It felt nice against hers, it felt so familiar.

"Oh Erika… I'm so glad you're alive… I thought I was going to lose you…"

Despite her extreme exhaustion, she managed a small smile. She couldn't see him but at least she could hear him, she could feel him, and that was good enough for now. "I'd never leave you, Gordon…" Erika said quietly.

She heard him begin to crack again. She heard the tremble in his voice as he tried to speak. "So long… I've waited so long for you to wake up. To hear your voice…" His breath hitched again. Gordon fell silent. Erika felt something wet hit her face, then on her cowcatcher. Then she heard it, it was something she never heard before and never wanted to hear it again. Gordon was crying. "Every day… I came here every day hoping you'd wake up. I missed you so much…"

Erika felt her lower lip quiver, her breath became shaky, "I'm sorry…" she whispered, unable to raise her voice any higher. "I'm so sorry…" She felt her own tears roll down her cheeks. She wished she could see him. It had been so long, she barely remembered what Gordon looked like. "I love you." She felt him kiss her again. It was just like she had remembered, soft, warm, loving, and gentle.

"I love you too, Erika… so much."

She hesitated for a moment, "I… I wish I could see you…"

Gordon looked back at her, he smiled sadly. "I wish I could see you too…"

* * *

AN: This was hard. Not because I had writer's block, I did to some degree, but because of how sad I ended up making it. The whole issue with Elena and Glen just made me cry, and others who proofread it too.


	8. Reunited

_Chapter 8 – Reunited_

'_As long as you're alright, that's all that matters.'_

* * *

The Steamworks remained silent; Erika tried to process what she had just heard. "What… what do you mean?" she asked. Gordon didn't respond. "… Gordon?" Then slowly, her vision cleared slightly. Though still blurry, Erika saw him in front her, looking down. He didn't look any different from what she remembered however, something seemed off… _very_ off. "Gordon, look at me, please?" He hesitated for a moment but eventually, Gordon's eyes met Erika's. Her worried expression became one of shock and horror. His dark eyes were now an icy blue, nearly white color. Erika gasped, "Gordon, what happened? Why are your…"

"After I reached the bottom of the hill… your tender smashed into me… it took out my left eye…" He said quietly, lowering his eyes again. Erika didn't know how to respond so Gordon continued, "I didn't feel it after I blacked out… I didn't even know it was gone until I came to a few days later, realizing I couldn't see out of it. Then the vision in my right eye started to go…"

"Can… can you see me?"

"Not really…"

"I'm sorry…" It wasn't her fault, but it sure as hell felt like it. It was _her_ tender than hit him. Her big, fat, stupid tender… Erika felt tears form in her eyes, "I'm so sorry…"

"It's fine… it's not your fault. I don't blame you." Despite his words, she still broke down and cried, continuing to say how sorry she was. Gordon watched sadly, wishing he could comfort her better. Oh the joys of being a steam engine… Erika wasn't one to cry often but when she did, it always broke Gordon's heart. He rolled closer to her, pressing his forehead to hers in an attempt to calm her. "Erika, please… please don't cry…"

However, she continued to cry. "It's my fault… it's all my fault!" As her guilt grew, she began to cry even more.

"It's not... Oh Erika, it's not your fault..."

She continued to ignore him, far too wrapped up in her own guilt. The blue engine sighed; unsure of what he could do to comfort her. Gordon stayed with Erika the rest of the day and only left briefly to pull the evening express which was now pulled by him with Emily or Henry. Ever since he got back into service he had to be accompanied by another engine, which annoyed him to no end. His vision may have been impaired but he still knew his way around the island. However, he had trouble going past the crash site; it haunted him, it kept him up at night. His consistent worrying over Erika didn't help. He could still hear her whistle, see her dented faceplate but, he wasn't going to let anyone know that. When he returned to the Steamworks that evening he could hear Erika's driver. It sounded like she was trying to talk some sense into her. He decided to hold back and listen to their conversation for a bit.

"It's not your fault, Erika." Sam said as she took a seat on the Daylight's cowcatcher.

"If I could have stopped in time," Erika began, "maybe then…"

"Stop in time for what? For the coupling to break so you can watch Gordon go off the side?"

"I-I could have pulled him back onto the track before that. I…"

"I can tell you right now that you couldn't have. It happened too fast... And it's foolish to think you could have. It was an accident. A terrible accident..."

Erika sniffed as she came to a sudden realization, "It's my fault... me and my big, stupid tender... Alex was right; I'm just a big distraction... This never would have happened if…" She trailed off and her breath hitched as she began to cry again. Sam only sighed. Gordon looked down sadly; he hadn't known Erika had heard that conversation. He thought she was asleep. He looked backed at the two as she continued. "If I had never come here… If I had never met Gordon…"

"You'd be stuck in Oregon waiting for your next excursion, bored out of your mind, and he'd be a miserable, old git with a stick stuck up his tender. Despite what has happened, I think this is the better scenario." She turned her attention to the blue A0, who had previously thought they were unaware of his presence. "Wouldn't you agree, Gordon?"

Gordon approached them slowly, "Sam's right Erika... You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Erika kept her eyes on the floor; she could barely see him and, since her vision hadn't cleared completely, she didn't see the point in looking at him. Besides, looking at him and seeing those eyes would just make her feel worse. "I don't feel like it… Before you met me you could still see."

"Erika that accident could've happened anyway whether you were here or not. Please stop blaming yourself."

"It's not just that, Gordon." Sam jumped in; he looked at her. She looked at Erika, "How much did you tell him?"

"Everything up until the incident with Sam…" Erika answered, still not making eye contact with either of them.

"Do you want to tell him the rest?"

"No."

Her driver sighed again as she looked at Gordon, "Back in the 40's, Erika was double-heading with her older sister, Elena. They took a curve too fast and her sister went over the hill... Unlike you Gordon, Elena didn't make it..."

After a few moments of silence, Erika finally spoke. "It's the reason why I hate double-heading. And, if I have to do it, I have to be in the front... I told people I wanted to be in the front so everyone can see me and eventually, I started believing it myself." Her eyes locked on to Gordon, "When you told me to I had to be behind you that day... I could barely stand it... everything just replayed itself over and over..."

Gordon rolled closer to her, "Oh Erika…"

"I… I couldn't save you, I couldn't save her… What good _am_ I?"

He kissed her softly, "You gave me a reason not to give up."

"…On?"

"Myself. If you weren't here I'd probably be stuck in a shed somewhere, not back pulling the express."

"It's my fault you can't see…"

Gordon sighed, "It's not it was an accident." He was beginning to wonder if he'd ever be able to convince her.

He stayed at the Steamworks all night, not that he got much sleep but he stayed with her nonetheless. The next morning he had to pull the early express with Henry, giving Erika a soft kiss before leaving quietly as not to wake her. When he got to Tidmouth, the station master told him that Henry was running a little late and that he'd have to wait for him. This annoyed Gordon more than the fact he needed someone to go with him in the first place. He'd never let the express be late in the past and he was damned if he was going to start now. He backed up to the coaches and demanded to be coupled to them.

His driver got out of his cab and approached Gordon. Alex had a less than impressed look on his face. After finding out what he had said about Erika, Sam called him up and tore him a new one and was in no mood for more engine-related drama. "Gordon, just be patient and wait."

"No, I'm not going to let the express be late."

"You don't have a choice. Just wait for Henry."

"I don't _need _to wait for Henry. I can pull it fine by myself!"

Alex was silent for a few moments before looking at his engine. "Gordon, how many fingers am I holding up?"

The blue engine stared at him, squinting his eyes a little, "…three."

"And that's why you need another engine. I didn't even raise my hands."

Gordon frowned, starting to get upset. "I know the express route like the back of my buffer. I can do it by myself!"

"I am not about you let you go off and get lost, or worse."

The big, blue engine was really starting to lose his temper now. "Damn it Alex! I can do it! Stop treating me like an invalid!"

"Stop acting like what happened didn't! It's controller's orders, not mine. Think of what would happen if you hit something or... or ..." Alex's voice trailed. He didn't even want to think about what could happen. "It's for safety reasons Gordon, and you need to understand that!" Gordon's icy blue eyes pierced through his driver before finally looking away. His driver muttered under his breath, "You only want to leave so bad so you can see that damned Daylight…"

However, Gordon heard him and it made him even angrier. "…What did you say?"

Alex ignored him and went back to Gordon's cab, "You _will_ sit there and you _will_ wait for Henry!"

"The hell I will…" Gordon paused for a few minutes before jolting forward suddenly in an attempt to move on his own. Henry pulled in just in time to see Gordon jolt again and managing to roll forwards a few feet. He was about to do it again when he realized his emergency brakes were now on.

"Gordon, what are you doing?" Henry asked calmly.

The blue engine snorted, "Just get coupled to the damned train, Henry…"

As Henry made his way to the turntable to get turned around, Gordon's fireman watched Alex for a while before speaking. "Well done," he said. "You've pissed him off..."

Alex sighed, "I don't really care, Mark. I'm in no mood for his BS. I still don't approve of his relationship with that Daylight…" he cringed slightly, "She goes back into service today too…"

Mark frowned, "Why do you have such a problem with it? Being with her makes him happy."

"She's an inconvenience, and her driver's crazy."

A few weeks before she woke up, Erika's parts finally came in. No one knew from where but were told they were from overseas. Gordon had spent every waking moment at the Steamworks ever since he had woken up himself and it annoyed Alex. He wanted Gordon to focus on his job, not on his girlfriend. She distracted Gordon, it was obvious. She made him late, kept him up all night hell; she even made him lose his job as the express engine once. Their relationship was just an inconvenience. Alex wasn't even sure what Gordon saw in her, she didn't seem like his type.

"What a nice guy you are…" Mark uttered under his breath as he looked out the cab window to see if Henry was ready. The green engine was in front of a less than pleased Gordon, waiting to be coupled to him. Minutes later, Henry was coupled and ready to go. With a whistle from Henry and an irritated grunt from Gordon, the train set off.

Throughout the entire trip Gordon didn't say anything, occasionally giving Henry a bump when he felt he was going too slowly. That is until they started to approach the accident site. He may not have been able to see all that well but he could still recognize where they were and started to hold back, becoming more and more nervous the closer they got.

Henry sighed, "Gordon, being an ass isn't going to make me go any faster." He soon realized where they were and instantly regretted his words. As soon as his wheels touched the section of track where it happened, Gordon pulled back with a sudden jolt, knocking his crew around violently and ultimately bringing the train to a halt. His eyes were wide and fixed on the hill.

Henry's driver stuck his head out of the cab and looked back, "What's the hold up?!" he asked.

"Look where we are, Ted." Henry answered, feeling a bit uneasy himself.

Ted sighed, "Oh… damn it…" He jumped out of Henry's cab and headed towards Gordon. He seemed to have a knack for reasoning with engines; spending years with Henry proved that. The blue engine didn't even notice him, his eyes still fixated on the hill. Ted spoke softly and calmly to him, "It's alright Gordon; nothing's going to happen to you. I know it's scary but you have to overcome you fears."

Gordon finally turned his attention to him, "I can't do it… I can't!"

"You can, you've done it before. You did it last night and earlier that day. What's holding you back now?"

"I just...I...yesterday I avoided looking down the hill but..." Gordon looked back down the hill, unintentionally making himself even more nervous.

"Then don't. Look at Henry's green ass and pretend it's Erika's. Sitting here is only going to make it worse and prolong your suffering."

"Can we just go… please?" Gordon shut his eyes tightly, taking a few shaky breaths. Ted looked at him worriedly before heading back to Henry's cab. Gordon kept his eyes shut as the train started moving again. The train continued on its way despite the delay and angry passengers. However, Henry was happy. Gordon was too busy keeping his eyes closed that he stopped bumping him, allowing him to go at whatever pace he desired. He whistled cheerfully as they finally entered Vicarstown station.

Erika was waiting at the station for Gordon's express so passengers could transfer. It was hard getting her out of Steamworks and even harder getting her to Vicarstown since she refused to budge. She wouldn't even come out of her shed and had to be pulled out by Rosie and Emily. Erika sat at the platform nervously. She didn't want to be here. She didn't want to be anywhere except in her dark berth where she could sulk and be depressed. It wasn't like Erika to be this down but it's wasn't completely unheard of either. The former Daylight looked up when she heard Henry's whistle from the opposite side of the platform.

"Hey Erika, I brought you a present!" he said. Erika watched as Henry was uncoupled from the train and chuffed away, revealing a certain blue engine with his eyes shut. She managed a small smile. Gordon soon opened his eyes slightly when he realized he was no longer moving.

"Hey Fatty," Erika said.

He smiled once he heard her voice, "Hey…"

"… What took you guys so long and why was Henry with you?"

"I'm not allowed to take the express by myself anymore…"

"Oh… well that sucks."

Gordon snorted, "Tell me about it! I know the route better than anyone but, _no_, I need an escort!"

Erika smiled again, this time a little wider. "I don't mind being your Seeing Eye engine."

He managed to smile back at her, "I'm sure you wouldn't."

"But… I can understand why they're doing it. However, it's your driver's job to keep an eye out, not just yours. I think you'd be fine on your own."

"I know, but everyone thinks I can't do it."

"I think you can…"

"I _know_ I can, but no one will give me a chance."

"Maybe the controller will, ask him."

"Maybe… but even if he did, Alex wouldn't allow it."

Erika's somewhat cheerful disposition faded and she looked down sadly, "There seems to be a lot of things Alex doesn't agree to... including me…"

"Yeah well, that's not for him to decide, now is it?"

"Do I distract you?"

"No, of course not."

She looked at him desperately, "But I keep you up all night and make you late!"

Gordon frowned at her a little, somewhat surprised that she actually cared what others thought. She hadn't before… "So what? Being late every now and then isn't going to kill anyone. Just ignore anything Alex says; he's a moody dick."

"You can say that again!" Erika's driver jumped in as she approached her engine along with her fireman, or woman rather. She looked over at Gordon, "How you doing, Big Boy?" she smiled softly at the blue engine.

"Not too bad, Sam." He smiled back at her once she was in his range of vision.

"Hope you're ready for the big night. I miss seeing you and Erika pull the express... What the hell I did call it?"

"The Nor' Western Daylight," Erika's fire-woman, Sarah, answered. Erika looked away from them worriedly, already starting to have flashbacks.

"It will be fine, Erika." Gordon said reassuringly.

"It'll be good to be working the evening shift again. And I _know _ how much you miss staring at you girl's tender, Gordon." Sam said; he grinned back at her in response.

"He can stare at it as she leaves... Let's go before you start giving him ideas!" The blonde fire-woman said as she followed Sam into Erika's cab.

"Oh, I don't think he needs help in that department!"

Erika finally looked back at Gordon just before she left, "Bye Gordon. I love you."

"Bye Erika," Gordon responded. "I love you too, see you tonight."

She smiled softly at him as she departed, whistling loudly. Gordon didn't even flinch; it was like music to his ears. He didn't realize how much he missed that ear-splitting whistle until he heard it.

He had a somewhat easier time on the way back to Tidmouth, keeping his eyes closed and focusing on something else seemed to have helped. After what seemed like the quickest nap he had ever taken, it was time get ready for the evening express, the train everyone waited for and had gathered at Tidmouth station to see. It would be Erika's first day back on the mainline. Everyone was eager to see Erika again, but not as much as Gordon. He was tired of working with Henry and Emily, he wanted her back. As both Percy and Thomas gathered coaches, everyone waited for the American streamliner to come over the horizon. They waited for that trademark whistle, signaling her arrival. However, none of that ever happened. No one heard her whistle, no one saw her on the horizon. She was known for being fashionably late, but this was ridiculously late and passengers were starting to complain… And Gordon was starting to worry.

"Where is she?" he wondered. His fireman checked his watch; his driver simply rolled his eyes.

"Typical," Alex said bitterly. "I guess they'll bring in Emily or Henry soon."

"We don't have time to wait…" Mark said worriedly.

"We sure don't." Suddenly, Alex's phone rang. It was Sam calling. "Well hello you, everyone's waiting for you... Doesn't surprise me your engine's a Diva... yeah, yeah, I know... uh-huh... We were going to do that anyway... alright, bye." He sighed as he hung up, "Always problems and drama with that engine…"

"You didn't have to be so rude… What happened?"

"To put it simply, Erika isn't coming."

"Well, we don't have a choice then. We have to go it alone."

Alex's eyes widened, "Do you see how long this train is? Why do you think it requires two engines?!"

"He can do it! For once just have some damn faith in your engine. And if you can't do that then... then I'll take him by myself!" It was becoming quite clear that Mark was fed up with Alex's lack of confidence in Gordon.

"It's not that I don't have faith; I'm trying to be realistic... and safe."

"No, _I'm_ being realistic. He can do it."

"You think he can pull 15 coaches, not only on his own, but up his hill as well without any assistance? The express train is usually 3-4 coaches, and he needs help up that hill with that much..." Alex sighed again. "Fine, prove me wrong. If something happens, _you_ can explain it to the controller."

"Let's just get out of here before we need to explain to the controller why he's giving out ticket refunds."

With another heavy sigh, Alex released Gordon's brakes. Gordon wasn't use to pulling so many coaches on his own and his hate for freight proved he was a bit rusty with heavier trains. His wheels slipped for a bit but he eventually managed to pull out of the station and make his way to Knapford, by himself. He was surprised by how well he was doing, although as they passed through Wellsworth and approached his hill he started to get a little worried.

Mark leaned out of the cab window, "You can do it! Just take it slow and steady!"

Gordon remembered what Erika had told him about hills, how she could go up a hill with more than 17 coaches. He thought she was full of crap until he had broken down one day with the express. She shunted him up the hill with not only his train, but hers too, leaving the blue engine more than a little impressed. Of course she was nearly three times heavier than him but there wasn't anything she could do that he couldn't. With that in mind and Mark's words of encouragement, he made his way up the hill. Very slowly and steadily he crept up the hill, taking it wheel turn by wheel turn. Eventually, the top began to get closer and closer.

Alex couldn't believe what was happening; he stuck his head out the cab window to make sure he wasn't dreaming. "He's doing it… He's really doing it. I don't believe it!"

Mark grinned widely, "I told you!"

Gordon stopped for a moment to rest briefly when he finally got to the top, sounding his whistle loudly before setting off down the other side. Everyone at the next station couldn't believe what they saw and it didn't take long for news to travel around the island. Emily was with Erika back in Vicarstown trying to coax her out when the news came her way.

"I cannot believe it." The emerald-colored Sterling said. "Fifteen coaches up his hill… _without_ any help?"

"That's what Ted told me," her driver answered.

"Well I never!" She suddenly came to a shocking realization, "Wait... isn't Gordon supposed to have someone with him anyway?!"

"He has his crew, he'll be fine."

Erika sat there quietly, listening from the inside of her berth as Emily continued. "Well, I still don't believe he made it up his hill."

"I don't believe he managed to pull 15 fully loaded coaches!" Sam jumped in.

"I don't think I will until I see it."

"Last stop is Vicarstown before it turns back, so you'll see it. That old fool, I knew he didn't need a Seeing Eye engine. I hope his stupid driver realizes that now."

"Me too…"

"Hopefully, Gordon won't have to haul that thing back to Tidmouth?" Sam looked over at Erika; she remained silent.

"I'm not going." She answered finally.

"But why?" Emily asked. Erika realized she'd kept Emily in the dark about, well everything. So she gave her a summary of it, about her life in California, Aaron, and finally, what happened to her sister. The Sterling looked at her friend sadly, "Oh Erika…"

"I blame myself for everything... I couldn't save her and I couldn't save Gordon... He's better off without me…"

"Erika…"

"He pulled the train on his own… He doesn't need me…"

"But Erika, he'll be exhausted. I know he's a strong engine but he's also not as young as he used to be... He cannot take all that weight back again after pulling it all the way here."

"Then _you_ go with him."

"It's not my train, Erika. It's _yours_."

Sam sighed, "The controller put your evening trains together so you two could be together… You're telling me you _don't_ want to be with him?" Her engine didn't respond.

Emily looked up as she heard Gordon's whistle in the distance; he wasn't far off now. "You have to make a decision, Erika."

"He was there for you Erika at the Steamworks while you cried your blue eyes out, feeling sorry for yourself. He sat there and endured every heart wrenching minute, I did too. The least you can do is return the favor. He needs you!"

"I _can't_ Sam! I… I'll just mess everything up!" Erika exclaimed frantically.

Her driver gave her an annoyed look, this was starting to get silly. "Erika, out of your entire career, you've only wrecked twice. I think that's a pretty good record."

"And both times it was my fault…"

"Damn it Erika, no it wasn't! How many times do you need to hear it before it starts sinking in? Stop feeling sorry for yourself and go be with Gordon. Go be with the dozens of people that came to see _YOU_, and most importantly, go do your job! You're a Daylight, a premier passenger engine. You think Elena would want to see you like this?!"

Erika was shocked by Sam's outburst, but knew she was right. "No…"

"Then get your ass out of that berth and do your job!"

Gordon pulled into the Vicarstown station and came to an exhausted stop. However, he was quite pleased with himself. His driver exited the cab and approached him, still in awe by his performance. "Gordon, that… that was amazing!" Alex said.

Gordon simply smiled, "Told you I could do it by myself."

Alex smiled back at him, something he rarely did lately. "I'm sorry I doubted you, old boy. Looks like you still got it. I'm so proud of you!"

"Wow do I ache... It's been a long while since I pulled anything that heavy by myself."

His driver's smile faded, "You might have to take it back yourself…" The blue engine looked over towards the sheds, not that he could see them but he knew that's probably where Erika was. Alex looked at him sadly, "She's not coming, Gordon…" His engine looked down and sighed. Alex was about to speak again when they heard it. It was low, loud, and deep. The tracks shook slightly as it echoed throughout the station. Everyone turned their attention to the end of the platform and soon enough, there she was. The one everyone had been waiting for. She whistled loudly again, making her presence known, just in case someone didn't hear her the first time.

Gordon looked up again as his smile returned, "Erika…"

"… Never mind… Damn that whistle of hers, ow…" Alex cringed at the sound.

Gordon grinned at his driver, "What do you mean? It's a _wonderful_ sound!"

"You're crazy, or deaf."

Erika slowly pulled into the station in front of Gordon smiling. She wasn't sure if he could see her so she kissed him softly, letting him know she was there. He kissed her back, just able to make her out. "Hello beautiful," Gordon said warmly.

"Hey Fatty. So, I hear you pulled this thing all by yourself?"

"Yeah, I did. Up my hill too."

"Impressive. However, I can haul your ass _and_ the train all the way back!"

He chuckled, "I have no doubt that you can."

"Oh I will! Hope you don't mind going backwards!" With that said, Erika reversed to make her way to the front end of the train.

Gordon's eyes widened, "Wait, _backwards_? You know going backwards makes me queasy!" His words fell on deaf ears for Erika was already at the other end of the train being coupled once Gordon had realized what she had said. He groaned quietly.

"You'll be fine… Fatty." Alex said, grinning at him.

"Oh shut up."

As soon as Alex got back into Gordon's cab, Erika whistled loudly. Gordon gave an uneasy whistle signaling the train was departing. The Daylight smiled brightly as she pulled out of the station, enjoying the cheers and claps that followed. She thundered down the mainline and Gordon kept his eyes shut and made unpleasant sounds. When she neared Kellsthrope Road however, a nervous feeling crept up on the Daylight. She knew what was coming, and it was coming fast.

* * *

A/N: If that wasn't one of the longest chapters ever written! There's still more before we _finally_ head into the 1950's. This chapter, and apparently the next one, was co-written by Idril Lissesul. I was so stumped so she helped me play this chapter out so brownie points for her! She's good at what she does. Speaking of which, you guys should head over to the Blue Lissesul account, my duo account with her. There's cool stuff there too!


	9. Clarity

_Chapter 9 – Clarity_

'_You were all so lucky…'_

* * *

Gordon opened his eyes and realized where they were headed. As the train began to slow down, he whistled reassuringly to Erika. The previously optimistic Daylight came to a stop and shut her eyes. Sam leant out of her cab and tried to calm her. However, Erika stayed put.

"…Just… just give me a minute…" she said quietly, taking a few deep breaths.

At the other end of the train, Gordon was becoming increasingly worried. He assumed she was going through the same thing he went through that morning. He whistled again, letting her know he was still there. However, Gordon's whistle quickly turned the broken one from the wreck then into Elena's terrified whistle. The two incidents merged together to make one fully fledged nightmare in Erika's mind and she suddenly jerked backwards in fear, nearly giving her crew, and probably everyone on board, whip-lash.

He called out to her as he felt the coaches bump him, "Erika?!"

She didn't hear him, completely locked in the nightmare now. All she could hear were Elena's screams and the cries of agony as her tender smashed into Gordon's face. Elena's faceless form became the gaping hole where Gordon's left eye should have been. She jerked backwards again, more violently than last time.

"**Erika!**"

The Daylight's blue eyes fluttered opened, darting around frantically before finally settling. "I… I can't do this," she said finally.

"You _can_ do this!" her driver reassured her.

"I can't… I just can't! Get Emily to do it, take me home!"

"Come on, Erika." Gordon muttered to himself, "You can do this…" he slowly pushed against the coaches trying to push her forward. "I'm going to be feeling this in the morning…"

Despite his best efforts, Erika barely moved. She was significantly heavier than he was and, with fifteen coaches between them, they weren't going anywhere until Erika decided to move... if she decided to move.

Sam tried to reason with her again, "Erika, what would your sister…"

"She's _dead_!" Erika snapped.

There was a moment of silence between the two before Sam spoke again. "Gordon isn't." The blue engine whistled again, still pushing her. "See, he's still with you, even though Elena isn't. That should mean _something_ to you, right?"

Erika sat there for a long, long time, contemplating what Sam had said. Finally, she whistled back at Gordon. He smiled and eased off as the train began moving again. The victory was short-lived. She slowed again as soon as she neared the tracks that derailed her.

"It's OK, Erika. Just…" Her driver wasn't able to finish. Erika jerked forward suddenly, speeding up again and dragging Gordon along with her who thought she was going to stop. The blue engine groaned and closed his eyes again, feeling even sicker from the sudden increase of speed. Erika made her way through the crash scene with ease, leaving it in the dust as she headed for Cronk. She whistled proudly as she entered the station and came to a stop.

She called to Gordon, "How ya doin' back there, baby!?" She only got a loud groan in response. "Good!" She whistled again and pulled out of the station. Gordon groaned again and screwed his eyes closed as tightly as he could, trying to think of something other than how sick he felt. Erika's confidence continued to grow as she approached Gordon's Hill. She scaled the hill in such a way that only an engine that spent its life going up and down hills could. "You see that, Gordon?!" she called to him again. "This hill is _nothing_!"

"Aleeeeex... I want to get off!" the blue engine whined to his driver. He only got a laugh from his crew in response.

"We're halfway there," Alex said after calming down a little. "Calm your pistons, Fatty!"

"_Only_ halfway?! Ooooh…" Gordon made a rather unpleasant sound, deciding that talking was a bad idea.

"Poor guy," Mark said with a hint of amusement in his voice.

Alex waved him off, "He's fine."

"He doesn't sound fine."

Eventually, they reached Tidmouth. A chorus of cheers greeted Erika as she pulled in, the other engines whistling to congratulate her. She returned it with a whistle of her own.

"Well done, Erika. Welcome back!" Henry said as he approached her.

She smiled at him, "Thank you, Henry. It's good to be back."

Henry made his way towards Gordon to congratulate him as well but stopped when he saw how utterly sick his friend looked. "…What's wrong with you?"

"He's so happy I'm back, he's made himself sick!"

Gordon opened his eyes slowly, squinting at Henry for a moment before answering. "Backwards... all the way from Vicarstown... Such a long way going backwards..."

The Daylight scoffed at him, "Bah, you're fine!"

The A0 groaned quietly, "Tell that to my boiler…"

"You're fine." Alex chimed in, rolling his eyes. "Steam engines don't vomit… I hope."

"I, for one, am not eager to find out." Mark added.

That night when she was sure he recovered from his nausea, Erika took Gordon to their secret spot, the spot in Tidmouth's yards where the lights couldn't quite reach, where it was nice a quiet. The moon was high in the sky and the stars twinkled as a gentle breeze blew.

Erika gazed at the blue engine in front of her. "Feeling better, Big Boy?" she asked softly.

"Much." Gordon answered. "Though next time please let me turn around first?"

She pouted slightly as she inched closer to him, "But there wasn't any time…" She came to a stop once her forehead came into contact with his. "You're warm…"

He closed his eyes as he enjoyed the closeness, "So are you."

"Thank you for being there... I don't think I could have done it otherwise."

"I'm sure you could have." Gordon sighed quietly at the fact that the darkness made it even harder for him to see her.

Erika heard him, "What's wrong?"

"It's just… I miss being able to see you."

"Oh…" she stayed quiet for a while, wondering what she could do to cheer him up. "Would being in the light help?"

"Probably not that much…"

She decided to change the subject, "They're a nice color, by the way."

Gordon looked at her, "What are?"

"Your eyes. They're pretty."

He smiled at her, "I don't know what they look like. Mark tried to show me but… I couldn't see…"

"They're like snow! With a hint of blue; they're beautiful." Gordon kissed her softly and she willingly returned it. She was just happy to be with him again. "Maybe... maybe one day you'll get your sight back. But if not, that's OK. I'm just happy you're alive, and that's all I really care about…"

"Maybe, though I'm learning to cope without it. The only real problem I have is people sneaking up on me, other engines aren't so bad but Mark's scared the living daylights out of me… several times…"

Erika giggled, "Don't worry. I'll protect you, Fatty."

"But humans are so small! It's far too easy for them to sneak around!" Gordon grinned and nipped at her lip gently. "And I'm not fat."

"But you're _my_ fatty; my big, fat, blue sausage on rails."

He chuckled, "I love you."

"I love you too, always will."

"Always and always, no matter what."

"Exactly... Now, shut up and kiss me."

The blue engine grinned again and he did what he was told. Not too far off, Mark was planning to scare Gordon but stopped when Sam gave him a look.

"They're having a moment, leave them alone." She said sternly.

"Aw... but sneaking up on him is funny as hell!" he said pouting.

"Then do it when he's not being intimate with his girl." She gestured towards the two engines.

Mark smiled at them, "Oh alright."

"Last thing I need is her whining about how you interrupted her "Gordon Time."

"Lucky bastard, Ted's on a late run tonight…"

Sam faked a pity glance, "Aw… No kinky, sex for you. Besides, we're stuck here until those two get done."

"Oh well, it's nice to get a bit of quiet time. And for the record, there is nothing wrong with kinky sex."

Sam grinned at him, "Of course not." She checked her phone, it was getting late and she needed to get Erika back to Vicarstown. "Alright, these two have gone at it long enough." She approached the two engines who were still lost in their own little world. "Time's up guys, time to go home and go to bed." Erika and Gordon broke away from each other to look down at the little human. They stared at her briefly before turning their attention back to each other. Sam frowned, "Hey!"

Mark chuckled, "That sure told them!"

She turned towards him, "You got a better idea?"

"Watch and learn…" He disappeared suddenly before, almost magically, reappearing on Gordon's buffer beam. "Hey! The lady was talking!"

The blue engine yelped, jolting backwards a little as soon as Mark appeared in his field of vision. Erika was a bit startled as well. Sam simply stared at the scene before her and then made her way towards Erika's cab. Gordon glared at his fireman, "Damn it, Mark! Stop doing that!"

"No, it's too funny. Now come on, it's bed time."

The Daylight turned her attention to her driver, "Hey Sam, can I stay in…?"

"No." Sam answered; she already knew what she was going to ask.

"Well then, can I go to…?" Gordon began.

Mark cut him off, "Nope."

"You can see each other when I bring Erika over for the evening express when she's done with hers. You two can cuddle up in the sheds." Sam said as she fired her engine up. Erika squealed happily; Gordon grinned.

"Can I kiss him good-bye? _Please_, Sam?" Erika was ready to beg if need be.

"Fine, but don't…"

"Yay!" She rushed over to Gordon and kissed him passionately, nearly smashing into him.

Mark rolled his eyes as he got into Gordon's cab. "Come on, big guy. The sooner you sleep the sooner you can see her again tomorrow." However, neither engine listened to their humans. They were too busy with each other. That is, until Sam threw Erika into reverse, forcing them apart.

Erika pouted, "Oooh…" She perked back up as she looked back at her love. "I love you, Gordon! I'll see you tomorrow!"

"I love you too!" he called back to her.

The Daylight went back to being somber as she neared the turntable. "You're mean, Sam."

"Yes, yes I'm a _horrible_ person. I've heard this before, Erika." Sam said with as much sarcasm as she could muster.

Erika continued to pout and whine as she left Tidmouth and went back to Vicarstown. Since it was so late, she was able to go faster than usual, getting her home in record time. As she backed into her berth, she spoke up again, "Thanks for supporting me."

"Of course. It was bumpy at first but you did it, I'm proud of you."

"Do you… do you think Elena is too?"

Sam smiled a little sadly as she got out of the cab and walked towards her engine to face her. "I'm sure she is. Now get some sleep, you have work in the morning."

The Daylight smiled sleepily as her driver closed her door. She soon drifted off to sleep, dreaming about the next day when she could be with Gordon again. Her blue sausage, on the other hand, wasn't fairing too well. Although he settled into his berth before he knew it, at some point he started twitching and muttering so much he disturbed James who was in the berth to his left.

The red engine looked over at him, "Gordon? Gordon wake up!"

Gordon didn't hear him; soon he was making enough of a fuss to disturb a rather grumpy Thomas. "Someone shut him up, _please_!?"

The commotion was loud enough to wake up Edward, who was at the furthest left berth. "What's going on over there?" he asked.

"Something's wrong with Gordon!" James answered.

"Oh boy…"

"Gordon wake up!" Henry yelled. Somehow his voice was able to snap the blue engine out of his apparent nightmare. "What was that all about?"

"…Nothing," Gordon answered quietly. "I'm fine…"

"Didn't sound like it and, since you woke us all up, mind explaining?" Edward asked a mild hint of irritation in his voice.

The A0 was quiet for a few minutes before answering. "It was just a bad dream."

"About?"

"What do _you_ think?"

Edward didn't answer and the sheds were silent again. Gordon sighed sadly.

"Don't worry. It'll get better with time," Henry said reassuringly.

"…Yeah, I know…"

"I don't know if this'll help but... I still have nightmares about the Kipper incident."

Gordon looked up at him, "You do?"

"Yes, although they're not as frequent as they use to be, it happens every now and then."

"What do you do about it?"

"I get up twice a week and haul that piece of crap train all the way to mainland. I go by the crash site each time and do you know what I do?"

He had his interest now, "What?"

"I keep on going. I'm not going to let one bad incident affect me. Yes, I know it hard at first, but it gets better the more you do it and soon, you'll barely notice it at all and keep right on going." Gordon was silent as he thought about what Henry had said. The green Black 5 continued, "Just keep your eyes focused on the track ahead of you, don't wander and don't stop."

Gordon smiled at him, "Thank you, Henry."

He smiled back at him. "You're welcome. Now, go to sleep!"

The next morning, Gordon was at Tidmouth waiting for Percy to bring his coaches, Henry's words still fresh in his mind:

_"Keep your eye straight, don't wander, and don't stop. Just keep going..."_

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't notice his fireman approaching him slowly; not that he could have seen him until it was too late. Alex would have alerted Gordon but the end result wouldn't have been as amusing.

Suddenly, Mark appeared in front of him, "Morning Gordon!"

He jolted backwards in fear, "Damn it Mark!" He glared at him as his crew laughed. "It's not funny…"

"Sorry… It is a little."

Alex walked up to him, "How's your vision, Gordon? Any better?"

"No," he answered sadly. "Still the same…"

"Well, at least it's not getting worse."

"Yeah, I wouldn't want to go completely blind."

"Well soon you can see a black, orange, and red engine with a huge tender."

The blue engine grinned wickedly, "I can't wait."

"Don't pop too hard, now."

"You can never pop _too_ hard."

"Spare me the details." Alex's tone became a bit more serious, "You really love her, don't you?"

"I do."

His driver sighed, coming to the realization that there would be no turning back. Gordon was head over heels in love. He had no other choice but to accept the fact that Erika was part of his life now and it was going to stay that way. "Alright, I still don't really approve but I guess I'll get use to it. As long as she makes you happy, that's all that really matters."

His engine smiled in response, "Thanks, Alex." When his crew was back in his cab; Gordon whistled and pulled out of the station.

Everything ran smoothly until he left Cronk. He was approaching the crash site again and slowed considerably. Then he remembered what Henry had said. "Just keep going, look straight ahead, and don't stop."

"Just keep going… Just keep going…" he muttered to himself and began to pick up speed again and, before he knew it, the crash site was long behind him. He sped up more as he grew more confident. Soon enough, he reached Vicarstown where Erika was waiting for her passengers to transfer before making her way to Norramby.

"Morning, Big Boy." She said once he came to a stop.

He grinned, "Morning."

"Someone's happy... or horny. It's getting to the point where I can't tell."

"Well, I've had a good morning."

Erika raised an amused eyebrow, "Oh?"

"Yeah, I made it past the crash site without freaking out."

"Good for you!" Her expression changed suddenly. Her eyes hooded and a seductive smirk formed on her face, "Maybe I should reward you…"

Gordon mimicked her expression, "Oh?"

"Yeah… Just wait until I get to Tidmouth. I'm gonna…" She stopped as she suddenly lurched forward. Erika frowned, "Damn it, Sam! I wasn't done!"

"You are now!" her driver exclaimed from her cab. She looked over at Gordon and waved to him. "Hi Gordon! Bye Gordon!"

The A0 couldn't help but laugh, "Bye!"

Once back in Tidmouth, Gordon settled into his berth for a rest. With Erika on her way, he was going to need it. That girl was crazy and he absolutely loved it. She made him feel years younger… not that he ever felt really old to begin with but she brought excitement to his life. She made him feel things he never felt before and he could no longer imagine life without her. He woke up a few hours later to see something big on the turntable. Gordon paused, he could never see that far before. He looked at the turntable again; it was still fuzzy but he could clearly make the shape out, it was Erika. He couldn't believe it; he could see her and from so far away!

"Erika!"

The Daylight looked up from the turntable as it came to a stop on the track leading to Gordon's berth. She was more than a little shocked; "You… you saw me from way over here?" the grin on Gordon's face gave away the answer. "I thought you couldn't see that far?" she rolled forward and stopped in front of him.

"So did I… I mean, it's not all that clear but I could still see you."

"Well…" she inched closer to him, "Can you see me any better now?"

He smiled, "Yes a bit better than…" It quickly faded once she was closer. He suddenly didn't recognize the engine in front of him. She sounded like Erika; even had the same shape. However, she didn't _look_ like Erika. Not the Erika he remembered. This engine looked younger.

"…Gordon?" she raised an eyebrow at him, a look of worry of her face.

"You look… different…"

Her expression saddened and she looked away from him. "Yeah… I know…" She hated her new faceplate and being reminded of it made her hate it even more.

"No one told me…"

"Probably didn't think it would matter since you couldn't see. My faceplate was damaged in the crash and they couldn't fix it so they gave me a new one... I look like a 15-year-old girl!"

He didn't respond right away. Erika's voice cracked and tears threatened. She hated the new her, she wanted her old faceplate back. She had always feared what Gordon's reaction would be when he finally saw her. Deep down, she was somewhat relieved his vision prevented him from doing so and she hated herself for thinking that way. What if he didn't want her anymore because she wasn't the same? The thought of him leaving her was almost too much to bear. However, those thoughts were cast aside when he planted a soft kiss on her lips.

"You're still beautiful." He said finally. Before she could respond, he kissed her again. "All that matters to me is that you're alright."

"You're not going to leave me for a hotter engine?"

Gordon arched an eyebrow, unsure who or what the hell gave her that idea. "No…"

Erika smiled, "I love you."

He smiled back at her, "I love you too."

That evening after their run, Erika requested to see Mary-Ann who found it very amusing to be summoned by a steam engine. Erika decided to give her what she came all the way here for and, since Gordon was already there, she'd be killing two birds with one stone. She started from the beginning and went all the way to Ella's arrival. That's when the historian stopped her.

"You know Ella the 4460?" she asked, somewhat shocked.

"Yes, she's my sister after all… Well, she's like a sister anyway."

Mary-Ann pursed her lips as she considered telling her about the other engine. "Erika, you do know she's alive, right?"

Erika couldn't be more surprised and relieved. "She is?! Where is she?!"

"At the Museum of Transportation in St. Louis, Missouri."

"Wow… do you think the controller would bring her here?"

The historian's expression softened, "Erika, I don't think that's possible."

"Why not? I'm here so surely he could bring her over here too!"

Mary-Ann gave her a sad smile; she couldn't tell her that Ella was used for parts to repair Erika. That she was in such bad shape that there was probably no way she'd be restored. "Yes… Maybe he could… Anyway, I'm sure you're aware of the impact on steam during the 1950's when diesel came to power. What was life like for you during that time?"

Erika looked down sadly. The 50's… Yes it was indeed a bad time to be a steam engine. The worst time in fact. So much had happened in the span of just a few short years. Did she _really_ want to relive it? She scanned her mind for the answer. Yes… yes she did, otherwise, she wouldn't have requested her. After telling part of her story to Gordon and then again to the historian, she realized that talking about it help soothe the wounds. It made coming to terms a bit easier. After a few moments of silence, she spoke.

"After the war, diesels started taking over... I lost my job to one, forced into freight service... stripped of my Daylight colors, my skirting... everything I was once so proud of gone in a matter of a few years… However, I did meet some great engines and got to see all the things Alice mentioned that only a freight engine could. I loved and hated it all at the same time."

* * *

A/N: And now, we finally move into the 1950's where we'll see new places and meet new engines. Some you may already know. The 40's were great and all but time lurches on! Don't forget to leave a review, I enjoy reading them.


	10. Mid West, Sodor, and Diesels

_Chapter 10 – Mid West, Sodor, and Diesels_

'_Stay out of my way and we'll do just fine.'_

* * *

"_It's not true! Tell me it isn't true!"_

_The smaller 2-6-2 Pacific type locomotive would have nodded sagely if she could. Instead she just raised her eyebrows and hooded her dark eyes. "I'm afraid so, Erika. They've already demoted your sisters; it's only a matter of time before they get you too. With these diesels taking over, your days are numbered." She paused to let the Daylight absorb and process this new information before continuing. "It's not just you, it's happening to all of us. On every railway, even around the world! Enjoy these last few moments while you can…" The smaller engine looked down sadly, shifting uneasily on her axles._

* * *

_Los Angeles, California, 1953_

Erika wheeshed sadly at the memory as she waited for her passengers to board; what made it worse was that Chloe had been right. Ever since the war ended, things had started to change drastically. These new engines, these diesels, started showing up and they weren't switchers either. No, they were _big_, nearly as big as her; streamlined engines in Daylight livery. They replaced her and her sisters. Edith and Ella had been sent into general service and went all over the railway. She barely saw them now. Erika's already somber mood fell further as she thought about them. Edith… poor Edith, she was appalled when she found out. The humans stripped her of skirting and painted her black. The older Daylight's cries and protests had fallen on deaf ears. The diesels had laughed at her and all Erika could do was watch.

It wasn't just her line; she barely saw Alice or Aaron either. When they did show up, it was like meeting them for the first time. Alice had been forced into helper service and was usually somewhere in the middle of the country. She hadn't seen Aaron or Glen in years and feared the worst. They were the largest steam engines in the world. They could pull the heaviest of trains up the steepest of hills. They would thunder through the mountain passes with such grace, so surely they still meant something to these humans? Surely they still had a place, a purpose? She didn't think she could bear it if she learnt either of them got scrapped. Knowing Glen, he probably didn't care. From what Aaron told her, after losing Elena, he didn't care about pretty much anything. He probably thought being scrapped meant he could be with her again. Erika shook the morbid thoughts from her mind, thinking about that wasn't going to make her feel any better.

However, Erika had been lucky. She still had her colors and her skirting. She didn't know why but she was grateful nonetheless. She may have lost her job as the Daylight engine, but she still pulled passenger trains. Today, she was heading towards Chicago. Erika smiled slightly; the Mid West was so much different than California. It was busier, livelier. The engines looked different too. Their streamlined design made them look smoother, sleeker, faster and a bit more hyperactive.

"You ready to go, girl?" Sam asked softly, putting a hand on her cowcatcher.

Erika forced herself to smile wider, "Yeah… Hey Sam?"

"Yes?"

"What's going to happen to us?"

The blue-eyed man paused, taking a seat on her cowcatcher. "What do you mean?"

"With all these diesels coming in… what's going to happen to steam engines?"

Her driver shifted uncomfortably, "Well… as of now, they're just putting you into general service."

"Are they going to… scrap us?"

"I can't really say. I wouldn't rule it out." His answer shocked Erika, himself as well. "Erika, I don't know what's going to happen to you or steam in general. However…" he got up and climbed on top of her cowcatcher so he was meeting her nearly eye-to-eye. "I'll do everything within my power to make sure they won't scrap you. Hell if I can, I'll buy you myself." He kissed her nose softly, something he'd always do when she was feeling down.

The former Daylight sighed softly as she started to relax. Ever since Elena's death, Sam had been there for her, stayed with her in the sheds sometimes, just like he had before he got with Aaron's driver, Victoria… Erika let off a bit of steam at the thought of her. That woman took Sam away from her! If there was one positive thing about the whole situation, it was that her absence allowed her to spend more time with the man she still loved and cherished. She'd like to think he felt the same way. Her fireman never showed her this kind of affection but then again, she wasn't that close to Andrew. One of these days, she was going to have to tell Sam how she felt. She didn't care if he was human. Love was love and that's all that mattered.

"You may not be pulling many Daylight trains anymore, but you're still the most beautiful engine in the world. No matter what train you pull."

Erika smiled and felt her face start to warm up. "Even freight?"

"_Especially_ freight," he kissed her nose again before climbing down and heading for her cab. "Let's hit the rails, girl."

It was dark by the time she reached the windy city. The Chicago Union Station was teeming with life. Dozens of trains making their way in and out of the station, whistling to each other cheerfully, their headlights and lamps lighting the way. As she came to a stop to let her passengers off, Erika's blue eyes looked around frantically, looking for the streamlined, blue engine with matching coaches. Where was she? He said she was coming in with a special. Maybe she missed her? Or maybe she was late, wouldn't be the first time. She was always with that streamlined Hudson from the New York Central railway… Maybe something "came up?" Erika chuckled to herself; teasing those two about their relationship was always a blast.

Just then, she heard two oh-so familiar whistles coming from behind her. A face-splitting grin formed on Erika's face. There they are… and they're _both_ late.

The B&O Royal Blue pulled into the station along with the silver New York Central Hudson at an alarming speed, damn near missing the entire platform altogether. Once her passengers were all gone, Erika approached them slowly, still grinning.

"See Caitlin, I told you we'd make it on time!"

The Royal Blue rolled her eyes, letting off some steam as she began to settle. "Just barely, you know I don't like being late Connor."

"But it was fun!"

"Where have you two been?" Two pairs of eyes looked to the left before landing on the grinning steam engine in Daylight livery. "Look at you, all tuckered out and red in the face. Must have had fun popping each other's safety valves!"

"That's not what we were doing!" Caitlin stammered unaware of her scarlet cheeks.

"No need to hide it, Caitlin. How long have you two been coupled now, a few years?"

"We're not coupled and we're not double-heading either! If you must know, I ran into Connor on my way here. He wanted to show me this shortcut of his and we ended up wasting more time!"

"But it was fun!" Connor added.

"Yes, valve popping is _very_ fun." Erika chimed in and the two engines only groaned in response.

After being uncoupled from their trains, the trio continued to chat as they made their way from the station and towards the sheds for a much needed rest. According to Connor and Caitlin, things on the east coast were just as bad as on the west. However, steam was still pulling passenger trains like it always had; it was still needed to some degree. That gave Erika some hope. Maybe they'd survive this diesel takeover. Maybe the humans wouldn't scrap them and keep them around. For the first time in a while, she was hopeful for the future.

"You ever heard of Sodor?" Caitlin asked once they were all settled and their crews had left, all but Sam who sat quietly on Erika's cowcatcher as he listened.

Erika raised an eyebrow, "Sodor?"

"I met a tank engine a few years ago who was being shipped over there. Sodor's supposed to be a safe haven for steam engines like us. It's not like here. There they run free, without having to worry about being scrapped or overrun by diesels."

"Seems like my kind of place. Where do I sign up?"

Caitlin would have shrugged if she could. "Other than that, I don't know much about it. I'd love to go though."

"So would I," Connor said yawning as he suddenly felt extra tired.

"Well," Erika began. "Maybe we will. Who knows?"

"Maybe!" Caitlin smiled, "Maybe I'll work for royalty!"

"And I'll be a fancy, posh engine, world famous even!"

"Maybe all three of us will wind up there. I'm sure we will! Oh how exciting!" The Royal Blue was giddy with excitement at just the thought of it. "Isn't it exciting, Connor?" she looked over at the silver Hudson to discover that he had fallen asleep long ago. She found herself rolling her eyes again, "Ran out of steam already!"

As the sun rose to greet the city of Chicago, there was a buzz among the engines at the sheds. Erika woke up to see Connor, Caitlin, some other engines she didn't know, and her driver talking about some steam engine in Europe.

"I heard he's one of the strongest engines in the world!" one said.

"Certainly not stronger than a Challenger or a Big Boy." Another retorted.

"I heard he's very fast. He can go above 108mph."

"I can go faster than that!" Connor said rather snootily.

"What are you guys talking about, and at this hour?" Erika asked grumpily.

"They're talking about this," Sam said, showing her the world news section of the Chicago Tribune. She found a headline that read, "Queen Elizabeth II Visits the Legendary Island of Sodor." Below the headline there was a black and white photo of a 4-6-2 tender engine; he had a sash around his boiler and was smiling proudly. The Queen was standing next to the engine on the platform.

Erika was unimpressed, "And?"

"He's from Sodor!" Caitlin answered happily. "Do you know what this means?!" Erika raised a tired eyebrow as she waited for the Royal Blue to continue. "Sodor's _real! _To pull a train for royalty… what an honor, I wish I could do that!"

"He's quite handsome too…" a female Hudson said, blushing slightly.

While the engines chatted, Erika studied the engine. He certainly didn't look like any of the engines around here. "He looks old fashioned," she said.

"He looks like a Gresely A1 Pacific," Sam said. "Those were built in the 20's in England. You won't see those kinds of steam engines here. Their steam engines look a whole lot different than the ones we make in the US. And to think an engine that old still up and running at this day and age..."

Her driver's fascination with the engine only angered her further. "What's his name?"

Sam scanned through the article, "Uh… it says his name is Gordon. He's a passenger engine on Sodor."

Erika laughed, "Gordon, what kind of name is that? It even _sounds_ old!"

"I wouldn't mind visiting this place, actually. I heard they have engines there that date back to the 1890's!"

Erika ignored him; she was too busy focusing on this Gordon. So what if he got to pull the Queen's train? He wasn't better than her. She was a Daylight, a premier passenger engine. Well, she used to be. She could hit up to 110mph. She was the most beautiful engine in the country and he was just some old passenger engine… that got to pull a train for royalty. Erika glared at the photo.

'_I'll prove I'm better than you, Gordon. I can become world famous too.'_

A commanding female voice cackled to the right of her. She looked over and her blue irises landed on a bullet-styled, 4-8-4 tender engine in black livery, short, red skirting, and gold lining. Her dark red lips and dark eye shadow matched her livery perfectly; she was pretty. She had never seen an engine like her and she was just as big as she was. Her gold eyes met Erika's blue as she spoke, "Sodor? What's so great about Sodor? Steam's still up and running here, I'm living proof of that!"

"And who just might _you_ be?" Erika asked.

The black streamliner pulled out of the sheds slightly to get a better look at the engine who questioned her. She laughed snootily, "You're one of those west coast streamlined Daylights, aren't you?"

Before Erika could answer, Caitlin chimed in. "What are you doing here Madison? Your railway doesn't even come this way!"

Madison huffed, "I could tell you the same thing, Caitlin. Last I checked D.C. wasn't this far west!"

"I have a special!"

"Well, maybe so do I? Besides, what business is it of yours?" She turned her attention back to Erika, "As I was saying, I don't know where you get at calling yourself the "World's Most Beautiful Engine" because that simply isn't true! Want to know who is? Me! Name's Madison, an N&W J-class. Stay out of my way and we'll do just fine."

Well, that was a rather rude introduction. However, Erika could be rude too, if not ruder. "Well _bitch_, let me tell _you_ something! Yes I am one of those "west coast streamlined Daylights." Name's Erika, and I _am_ the most beautiful engine! I must be, seeing as how you know about my class while I've never heard of yours, must not be all that popular." She glared at the J-class. "What makes you think steam is safe in the US? We're being overrun left and right!"

"Maybe _you_ are. My railway is still using steam. In fact, they're still requesting new ones to be built! I'm one of them. I arrived just a few short years ago." Madison smiled proudly at that fact.

Erika didn't believe her; they stopped making steam engines back in the 1940's. This engine was full of crap.

Sam looked up at her, "She's telling the truth, Erika. Steam's still wanted here."

The former Daylight's mouth hung open slightly. She couldn't believe it. It seemed like everything this side of the Mississippi was doing fine while all hell was being let loose back home. It just wasn't fair.

"Like I was saying, _bitch_, steam will be just fine. None of us are going anywhere. We'll be around for years and years to come." Her words seemed to bring comfort to the other engines. All except Erika, she had a feeling that things were only get worse for herself and steam engines everywhere.

Erika sadly made her way back to Los Angles that evening only to be greeted by the laughs and taunting air horns from the new diesels. She looked around and there wasn't a steam engine in sight. No Edith, Ella, not even Alice or Aaron. She was all alone and outnumbered. At the lead of it all was Marlena, an EMD E7-class diesel. She absolutely despised the steam engine and couldn't wait for her to get retired and hopefully scrapped. Truth be told, Erika didn't care for the diesel either and did her best to ignore her as she made her way towards the sheds for a rest before her next run, whatever that may be. She never had a problem with diesels up until now but, then again she never had one take her job and then mock her.

Marlena's gold eyes followed Erika as she steamed by slowly towards the farthest end of the sheds. "How was your trip, _Grandma?_ Hope you didn't break anything!" she cackled and her sisters laughed right along with her. Erika ignored her; she wasn't in the mood for the diesel's crap. The Daylight diesel continued, "I don't know why they keep you guys around, really. I mean, steam is old technology. Who would want to bother with Old Iron over there?" Erika closed her eyes as she tried to calm herself. She wasn't going to let Marlena's words get to her. She was better than her. She wasn't going to stoop down to her level but then, the diesel said something that she knew would get the reaction from Erika that she wanted. "Did you guys hear about what happened to that other GS Daylight? Stupid bitch went right over the Horseshoe Curve and wrecked herself. Hey Erika, why don't you set an example for the rest of your kind and do the same?"

That was it, she had gone too far and Marlena knew it. She didn't care though. She enjoyed working the steam engines up and she knew just how to do it. Tears stung Erika's eyes as she tried to hold them back and let her anger overtake her, to not let them see how hurt she was. How dare she speak disrespectfully about Elena, an engine she didn't even know!

"Screw off Marlena, you and your dirty, diesel bastard sisters!"

"Nice come back there, Grandma. Hate to tell you the truth but she was going to get scrapped anyway. She just did herself a favor and did it sooner."

"Shut up, you know nothing about Elena, _nothing_!"

"Keep telling yourself that. I bet the rest of your kind will do the same once they start getting retired. What's more shameful than getting sent to the smelter? Why not just do the humans a favor and take yourself out? Seems fair I think."  
"Shut up, shut _up!_" Tears were streaming down her face now, but she didn't care anymore, "Steam _will_ live on! We'll still be around while you and _your_ kind are sitting in museums if not scrapped!"

The diesel rolled her golden eyes, "Yeah right." She laughed at the GS-4's comment and her sisters soon followed. "Oh look at the time! I'd love to stay and chat with you, Grandpuff but I need to get ready." She and two of her sisters pulled out of the sheds with her. "Oh by the way, the Costal Daylight is still the most beautiful train in the world, more so now that _I'm_ pulling it!" The three diesels chortled loudly as they left Erika to her own sadness, Sam and Andrew sitting on her cowcatcher and doing their best to comfort her.

Erika sat in the shed alone that night with no one to talk to but herself. Her crew had gone home for the evening and there hadn't been any other jobs for her. She stared sadly at the rails in front of her, sniffing occasionally, hoping the sun would rise one day and everything would be back to the way they once were. Before dieselization, before Elena's death, before everything started to go wrong. She longed for the days when it was just her sisters and Alice. Hell, she even missed spending time with Aaron.

She sighed sadly; a few more tears rolled down her already tear stained cheeks. Those days were gone and it was hopeless to think they would return. Chloe was right. The days of steam were winding down and it would only be a matter of time before they were to be overtaken by diesels completely. However, there was a hint of hope, a dim light at the end of the tunnel. She remembered Madison's words:

"_My railway is still using steam. In fact, they're still requesting new ones to be built! I'm one of them. I arrived just a few short years ago."_

"_Steam will be just fine. None of us are going anywhere. We'll be around for years and years to come."_

"Oh Madison, I hope you're right…" Erika sniffed again as she mumbled to herself softly. "I hope you're right…" She continued to repeat the J-class's words in her mind as she drifted off into another restless sleep. She was going to take those words and hold onto them as tightly as she could. There was still hope for steam, there just _had_ to be.

* * *

A/N: Well, this didn't take forever, nope! We finally got to see some different faces, both new and old! I figured Caitlin and Connor would be in the same livery as their basis at this point in time, not the rainbow colored messes they're in now. Marlena the EMD E7 belongs to my friend Simon and that quote I stole from him. He knows the one! She's based off the #6017. Chole's based off SP 2472 and belongs to metalheadrailfan. No, I'm not asking for characters.


End file.
